Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?

He forgot his Chopin Liszt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.

He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilteach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?

They had a few keynote speakers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeKrispyKreme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I was at piano duel, and then all of a sudden the cops broke down the door and arrested the pianist.

He was arrested for fingering the wrong minor

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?

Knockmaninoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLeakestWink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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When did the pianist finally turn their life around?

After they hit Rockbottomoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tannerlaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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You heard about the Pianist that went to Jail?

Apparently he hit β€œA minor”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A98HondaCivic
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Why did the pianist continue to play on the piano, even when some notes didn’t work?

Because it was only a minor inconvenience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Did you hear about the pianist who was eaten by an allosaurus?

He was a Jurassically-claimed musician

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?

Bad Bach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBigSlickD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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I APOLOGIZE IF THIS HAS BEEN POSTED ALREADY

A man with a sack walks into a bar. He orders his first drink. The bartender asks, β€œWhat’s in that sack?” The man replies. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Later in the night, the man orders another drink. The bartender asks again, β€œWhat’s in the sack?” The man again replies, β€œIt’s nothing worth seeing, don’t worry.” Later, the man comes up for his third drink. The bartender says, β€œLook, if you show me whats in that sack, I’ll give you a free drink. Whatever you want.” The man thinks for a moment, and opens the sack. He pulls out a tiny man, and a tiny piano. The tiny man starts playing the tiny piano. The bartender, surprised, asks, β€œWow! Where’d you get this guy?” The man pulls out a magic lamp from the sack. β€œThis thing. It can grant any wish. But the wish won’t be 100% accurate.” The bartender asks, β€œCan I try it out?” The man gives the magic lamp to the bartender. β€œI wish I had 100 bucks.” A few seconds later, 100 ducks waddle into the bar. The bartender says, β€œYou’re right. This thing isnt very accurate” The man says, β€œI know. did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arandomduckdog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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A Joke for the Hard of Hearing

A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. Where did he come from?" The friend pulls out an old lamp and tells him the genie inside will grant him one wish. The man rubs the bottle, and to his amazement, a puff of purple smoke spews out and slowly collects in the form of a genie. In a booming voice the genie tells the man he has but one wish. The man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks." All of a sudden the bar is filled with ducks, bursting from the door and the windows, standing on top of the bar, dunking their heads into people’s drinks. β€œWhat just happened?!” the guy asks. His friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cool-kid103
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Genies work differently than you think they do (long joke)

A man walks into a peculiar bar. There’s a small man no more than a foot tall playing the piano in the corner, men with horns and many other odd things. He noticed people huddled around a table. He walks up to the bartender and asks β€œwhat’s going on over there?” The bartender replies,” oh it’s a game, if you win a genie will grant you one wish”. β€œReally! Can I wish for anything!?” The Bartender says β€œyup just be specific and enunciate. Trust me” β€œHow do you play!?” The man asks excitedly β€œIt’s simple if you roll snake eyes you win. Everyone gets one chance and no more” The man runs over the the table and waits his turn. Once he gets up to the table he rolls snake eyes, he’s ecstatic. A genie appears over the table and says”you get one wish” The man is jumping up and down in excitement. He can hear the bartender saying something but ignores him and says”I want a million bucks!” The genie says”done” snaps his fingers and disappears. In that moment one million male deer, elk, antelope and other animals fill the bar spilling out into the street. After several minutes the stampede leaves the bar and the man says” what was that that wasn’t what I wanted!?” The bartender says β€œwhat did I say!? I told you to be specific and enunciate!” β€œOooh I see But how did you know that would happen” the man says β€œDo you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirOrville
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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A man walks into a bar with an ornately carved box under his arm.

Bartender: "Hold on there, buddy, what's in the box?"

Man: "I'll show you if you give me a free drink."

The bartender agrees, and the man lifts the lid to reveal a tiny man, who starts playing an equally tiny piano.

Bartender: "That's amazing! Where did you find him?"

Man: "There's a genie outside granting free wishes. But if you go out there, be sure to speak up, because I think the genie is hard of hearing."

Bartender: "Why do you say that?

Man: "Do you think I would have wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IdonJuanTatalya
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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I asked my kids which musician drinks the most...

It's always the pianist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
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What's the most sensitive part of an orchestra?

The pianist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cornbread_curfew
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2016
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Dad on choosing a Netflix movie

Dad: what movie should i order tonight

Mum: well i want to watch the pianist

Dad: that sounds boring

Mum: it won best film at the Cannes film festival

Dad: yeah well how did it go at the bottles film festival?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shooter-mcgavin_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
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Christmas Dad-joke

I'm a pianist in a jazz band. Today, our drummer was running late. A bit into the rehearsal, he runs in and the band stops playing.

Drummer: sorry I'm late... what are we playing? Leader: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Drummer: well, that's an awfully nice thing for you to say to someone who just showed up late to your rehearsal, thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wittybanditti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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What was the pianist doing at the mall?

Chopin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sajinib
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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