Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it
We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web developer.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard
π︎ 80k
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
I left my vampire killing kit in the elevator...
The stakes have never been higher
π︎ 35
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*
Black: Harry, Iβm dead.
Harry: Are you serious?
Black: Yes, Iβm dead Sirius.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
Why did the paladin have to visit the tire shop after killing an innocent bystander?
Because he was out of alignment.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
The suspense is killing me
π︎ 104
π
︎ May 01 2020
What did the father say to his baby boy before killing him with a vacuum cleaner?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
A man purposely crashed two passenger trains, killing hundreds. Why didnβt he get the electric chair?
Turns out he was a really bad conductor.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 28 2020
What did the vegan say to the meat lover before killing him?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
Did you hear about the virus that's killing of all the furrys ?
It's called the cOWOnavirus .
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
Breaking News: A turtleneck seller is to appear in court for selling his turtlenecks to the public, and just killing so many turtles. And sweater or not he wins, he was really a bad salesman.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
Man, people in the taxidermy business are killing it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
Did you hear about the recently fired IT guy who tried killing his boss?
Luckily his gun jammed so he had troubleshooting.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
How do you call the crime of killing a friend?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 19 2019
The suspense must be killing them
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jun 16 2018
Did you know that in the last stages of a Terminator's lifetime it becomes so weak that it is only capable of killing small animals?
At that point it is fired and becomes an ex-Terminator.
π︎ 137
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
Renaming Darth Vader to DarthVader has the same result as killing him...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 27 2019
Did you hear about the killing in a French footballers house?
They called it murder on Zidaneβs floor.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 13 2018
I'm slowly killing the glove industry with my bare hands
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 15 2018
Prez Obama pardons turkeys but not the dad jokes, he's killing them
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/11/23/watch-live-president-obama-pardons-his-final-thanksgiving-turkey/94346928/
π︎ 55
π
︎ Nov 23 2016
True story: My friend's dad raises cattle. Last week, he totally flipped out when one of the females had a miscarriage, killing both the mother and the daughter.
He had a cow over his cow not having a cow.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 22 2017
The Rolling Stoneβs jet hit a goose, killing the drummer and the bass playerβ¦
Killed two stones with one bird.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 27 2018
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 354 aboard
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
My wife asked me to take the spider out instead of killing it
Went to the bar, had a few drinks, nice guy, turns out he's a Web designer
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it
We had some drinks, cool guy, he wants to be a web developer
π︎ 189
π
︎ Apr 13 2020
Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it...
Had a few drinks, he is a cool guy, wants to be a Web developer.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. Heβs a web designer
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
My wife told me take the spider out instead of killing him.
We had a few drinks, what a great guy. Turns out heβs a web designer.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy, he's a web designer
π︎ 52
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
My wife said I should take out the spider instead of killing it.
I'm glad I did. We went out. Had a few drinks. Overall good guy. He's a web designer.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him
Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.
π︎ 205
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. Heβs a web designer.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy, heβs a web designer.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it
We had some drinks, cool guy, says he wants to be a web-developer
π︎ 77
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. Heβs a web designer.credits
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
My wife told me to take the spider outside instead of killing hime
so I did. we went out. had a few drinks. real nice guy.
hes a web designer.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing itβ¦
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 20 2017
My girlfriend told to me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. He wants to be a web developer.
π︎ 214
π
︎ Feb 16 2019
My wife told me to take the wasp out instead of killing it.
We had some drinks, nice guy, wants to be in a heavy metal-band
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went out for a few drinks. Heβs a pretty cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jul 29 2018
My girlfriend made me take the spider out instead of killing it.
...so I did. Had some drinks, cool guy. Turns out he wants to be a web designer.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 06 2018
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it
We went and had some drinks. cool guy. wants to be a web developer
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2018
My wife said take the spider out instead of killing it...
We went out for a few drinks; cool guy, said he wants to be a web designer.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Oct 12 2016
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