16 Hilarious The Idiot Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

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👤︎ u/RedLeader11037

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

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I saw my wife slightly drunk yelling at the TV saying “don’t go in there you idiot”

She was watching our wedding video again.

👍︎ 43

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👤︎ u/Commander_Glory

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

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I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.

I was dad on arrival.

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👤︎ u/busterpkeaton

📅︎ Nov 05 2020

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Why was the idiot fired from the banana factory?

He threw out all the bent ones.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/TheProfessorDragon

📅︎ Aug 27 2020

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I just saw real a real idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

👍︎ 79

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👤︎ u/parasnohwar

📅︎ Jul 25 2020

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An idiot goes walking through the woods...

After a short time, he realizes he is hopelessly lost. He gets hungry, but with no knowledge of a way to gain food, he decides to resort to cannablism. He begins to eat his arm, but soon finds he is satisfied and no longer hungry. This idiot in the woods was full of himself.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/iknowthisischeesy

📅︎ Feb 03 2020

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My idiot friend was caught shoplifting from the bakery yesterday.

He has done stupid things before, but this one really takes the cake.

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 26 2019

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Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."

"Some parts are missing."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Sep 20 2019

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Last Thanksgiving I cut myself with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law walks up and grabs the bloody cut and starts twisting it. I screamed “Ouch, what are you doing!!”

He says, “I’m applying the turn-a-cut!”

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/boogerknows

📅︎ Oct 29 2019

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What did the sheep, idiot, and snake say when the dad told a joke?

Ba dum, tsss

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Sonicxwwe

📅︎ Nov 20 2019

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Did you hear the recent electrifying news about a drunken idiot who climbed a power pole and got the crap shocked out of him?

It's good to keep up on current events.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Sep 21 2019

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What do you call an idiot who clicks on the "POST" button by accident?

u/FroYo10101

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/FroYo10101

📅︎ Apr 25 2019

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My wife thinks I’m an idiot who can’t even do the simplest things right.

So I packed up her things, and called me a cab.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 07 2018

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There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot

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👤︎ u/pegun

📅︎ May 19 2018

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The family idiot was over this morning, and my dad couldn't help himself.

My brother-in-law is known as the family idiot, or as my dad calls him, the F.C.P., the "Family Conversation Piece". He said this morning:

"I'm like an alcoholic when it comes to cold water"

To which my dad promptly replied, "I guess that would make you an aquaholic!"

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/NoonToker17

📅︎ Sep 17 2014

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I saw my wife slightly drunk, yelling at the T. V "Don't go in the there, don't you go into that church you idiot!"

She was watching our wedding video again

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👤︎ u/B-man44

📅︎ Sep 20 2019

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