A list of puns related to "The Emergency"
You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.
They called it a "Jury Summons."
The nurses patched him in triage and after a long wait, the doctor called him in. "You'll take about eight stitches and be on your way." The chef replied, "I can tell you're all very busy here, so just hand me the needle and I'll be on my way." The doctor looked by turns insulted, annoyed and dismissive.
"Fine then. Suture self."
WHO cares
I said, "911."
He had to dash away.
Apparently I roverdosed myself
Okay buckle in guys were pasta point of no return
But I think it's a load of crap.
A clambulance.
I told her to break a leg.
^(I just had to share this. For what it was worth, I made her smile, like an upset "I don't want to laugh at this moment, but I can't help it" kind of smile, and that's what counts. Luckily there were no fractured bones.)
Doctors were pleased to announce the first ever successful hipsterectomy.
It was not a drill
The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".
Roverdose
That kid's American, born in bread.
While sitting on a gurney in the ER for chest pains (he's fine, just high blood pressure):
Doctor: So, what brought you here today? Father-in-law: The ambulance.
I had cooked smoked sauasge and was chopping jalapeños and cut the tip off my finger.
He texted me while at the emergency room commenting on the sausages:
"The sausages are really good but there is something different about them and I can't quite put my finger on it"
He followed up with this when my girlfriend and I returned from the hospital:
"Elizabeth are you hungry? We have some finger sandwiches if you are."
Old man in the room next to my roommate's was checked in since he had a big fall and probably broke something.
Doctor - "Do you remember what happened when you fell?"
Old Man - "Well...I hit the floor."
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.