My brother has been making amazing chicken on the grill for as long as I can remember.
Iβd say heβs a seasoned pro.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?
He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
My brother broke his arm at the aquarium
We had to fetch a sturgeon.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
I donβt really publicize the fact that Iβm Thorβs brother.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
What did the friend say after his brother asked what will happen after he gets his glasses?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
My brother stumbled and fell down the stairs
It wasn't a pleasant trip.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
π︎ 141
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
My brother and I both picked up bottles of mouthwash on the same grocery trip...
I guess you could say we really got our Acts together.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
I was the only one in the family who believed in my brother to become a ninja, so when my dad said βhe will never make itβ
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Brother asked me where the jumper cables were.
I said probably trying to start some shit.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What do you call the wife of an elephantβs motherβs brother?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
I kept telling my brother not to put the Q-tip in too deep, but he never listens to my words.
It goes into one ear, and out the other.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
π︎ 805
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
My brother was addicted to the Hokey Pokey...
But luckily he turned himself around.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Know what the female equivalent of blood brothers are?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Talking with my brother: βHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?β
βThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra stepsβ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
What is the name of Satan's long lost brother?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.
That well escalated quickly!
π︎ 23
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
I finally hooked up with the girl who said, βYouβre like a brother to meβ.
I said, βWell, if you incestβ.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
My brother, whoβs a cowboy, always sits on the stove when he visits us.
He says that it makes him feel more at home... on the range.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What did the e. Coli bacterium tell his brother when forced to eat cruciferous vegetables?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Whatβs the name of Bruce Leeβs vegan brother?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
My brother is starting a history degree and one of his modules is studying the Stuarts
My dad asked, "Jackie or Rod?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
My brother and I were just reminiscing about the herb garden our family had when we were kids.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
It wasn't too long after the Wright brothers took flight..
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didnβt draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and thatβs when I drew the line.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:
Speak now or forever hold your pee
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
My brother-in-law, a clinical psychologist, says he is cutting back the days and hours of his work week.
In short his practice is shrinking.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
My brother and I had an argument as to which is the most important vowel.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
What was the name of Marilyn Monroe's caviar-loving brother?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
Today is the last time I am seeing my 11 year old brother!
Coz he's turning 12 tomorrow!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...
That took a lot of balls.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 20 2020
My brother has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban at the San Diego Zoo.
π︎ 116
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
What did they call the wright brothers after they flew away?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 03 2020
My brother broke his arm at the aquarium
We had to fetch a sturgeon.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
My brother prefers to take the stairs but I prefer the escalator.
I guess we were raised differently.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
My twin brother likes to take the stairs, but I always prefer the elevator.
I guess..... we are raised differently.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
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