The celebrity chuckled and said "Quite comfortably, on my limited-edition adjustable Tempurpedic mattress."
He’s basically one big banner
It was for a protein shake
I mean he's essentially a giant banner
Mass Marketing.
Multi-level marketing
.."nut for sell"
Today, I was riding with friends through downtown. We got stuck behind a pick up truck at a red light. The driver had a window sticker emblazoned across his window for a dot com. "WWW.FREEMANGAS.COM" We all commented on how it sounded like a scam site. Why would anyone post Manga to a web site for free? Maybe, they bootleg videos? And, why would you advertise on your big white Dodge Ram? It just felt like a weird sticker. The light changes and we move to the turn lane, right beside the driver door. More vinyl decals..."Freeman Gas." I am still laughing.
I think that's just bad ad vise.
I mean, isn’t he just a giant Banner?
Having seen it advertised in a local newspaper. The prize was quite lavish. And so I thought, "Why not?". Having checked the terms and conditions I saw there were no rules prohibiting multiple entries, so I decided to send in several. "Surely one must win", I told myself. But, sadly, no pun in ten did.
He’s pretty much one giant banner..
Hey all, so im trying to figure out a pun that could deal with golfing and accounting. Lol i know it is a weird combo lol 😆. It's for the accounting place i work at and we are making a advertisement at the golf place.
It was a strip tease
My wife says "Well it's not going to be hard to find a huge easter egg." My wife has officially become a dad.
She wanted to go for broke
He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”
“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”
"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”
The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.
Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."
The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.
The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.
"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"
The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.
"What seems to be the problem, sir?"
"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"
The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.
"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."
It's all buildup with no punchline.
It was just junk mail.
I turned to my GF and asked her if the cocktails were ‘Margaritas’. She, of course, was not impressed.
Hoe, hoe, hoe, green giant.
He advertised the first stone tablets.
...we got our ad junked.
Pawduct placement
It's a pretty Nietzsche audience.
They are just advertising that you do not have to pay extra for the caffeine. It is free.
You are tasked with making an advertisement for an amusement park, however you want to make it to STOP people from coming to the carnival... I'm curious to see your advertisements, also try to keep the jokes under 50 words.
They just sat there. Hardly the chaos that's beem advertised.
You cant spell advertisements without the semen between the tits
A lot of folks seem to need help with this so ------- adver ti semen ts
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
Hi, I'm the president of a high school club called future investors and I need a few puns to accompany an advertisement on facebook/instagram.
Here it is: "Invest your time into something meaningful.. like FUTURE INVESTORS! I promise that you won't be a-loan, as you'll form a lot of bonds (and hopefully have a high ROI) by joining! Don't be a laughing stock and come to our first meeting on 9/19"
Driving down the highway, we see a sign in front of a furniture store advertising a "Huge Futon Sale".
Dad - "I wonder if they have regular-size futons, too."
I recently bought a pool on Amazon and the height wasn't even close to what was advertised.
You can go there to read my review in depth.
Dunno what the hype’s about. Didn’t taste anything like an apple, I don’t have time for false advertising.
... After we cleaned the mess, because he thought it was party time not dinner time, my wife was sitting, defeated, on the couch lamenting having a rowdy toddler. She was listing all the things that could be different if he was calmer (the kid is always full-throttle and smart as fuck, I love it but it's a lot to handle) including not stinking like soup. I look into her eyes, hold her hands in mine, lift her chin up and said:
"Baby, I love you. You smell super."
In unrelated news, sleeping on the couch is better than advertised.
He's essentially a giant banner
After all he’s a big banner.
He's basically a giant banner
He’s essentially a giant Banner
After all he is just a giant Banner
