Talpidae Puns

This week I take on Mole Knight. Probably one of the best levels in the game. Certainly has some of the best level music.

Holy Talpidae! - Shovel knight - Part 7

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

As I've ranted about before, I'm getting tired of the carcinization meme. So many people act like every single organism is going to evolve into a crab despite that kind of only happening with crustaceans.

There's a LOT of other interesting types of convergent evolution out there that don't have names yet, so I'm going to list them and come up with terms for them. (Though keep in mind that this is not a comprehensive list of every single example of convergent evolution out there, but something to encourage discussion.)

• Volaticization: The tendency for many mammals and reptiles to develop some kind of gliding membrane, most famously flying squirrels and sugar gliders.
• Echinization: Mammals developing their fur into sharp pointed quills, such as the unrelated Old and New World porcupines, hedgehogs, tenrecs, and echidnas.
• Saltization: Mammals developing hopping feet and a long tail for stabilization. Most common in rodents such as kangaroo rats, jerboas, hopping mice, and springhares, but can also be seen in macropods.
• Canization: Predatory mammals evolving into dog-like forms, can be seen in canids, hyenas, creodonts, mesonychids, and thylacines.
• Rhinization: The tendency for large herbivores to evolve horn-like structures on their noses, such as rhinos, brontotheres, uintatheres, arsinoitheres, and ceratopsians.
• Talpization: Mammals evolving into mole-like forms, which can be seen in true moles of the Talpidae family, along with marsupial moles, golden moles, and pink fairy armadillos.
• Myrmecophagization: Mammals designed to feed on ants and termites, such as anteaters, pangolins, aardvarks, numbats, and echidnas. (There's also aardwolves and sloth bears, despite them not being quite as specialized as the others.)
• Raptorization: Birds evolving sharp talons and beaks for killing prey. Examples include accipitrids, owls, falcons, and arguably Cariamiformes. Shrikes are halfway there, having the hooked beak but not the sharp talons.
• Ciconization: Birds developing long legs and a long neck for wading, such as storks, herons, cranes, and flamingos. Azhdarchids could be considered a pterosaur example.
• Spheniscization: Birds developing into streamlined wing-propelled divers, such as penguins, auks, the extinct plotopterids, and the extinct duck Bambolinetta.
• Anatization: Another form of swimming bird design, except propelling with their feet instead of their wings. Examples include diving duck

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken