I never knew moles had secret nightclubs

I have to say they have a great underground scene.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.

I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiefmudbear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a funny mole on my back

It won't stop telling me jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gugalgirl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.

He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you use to make a mole of guacamole?

Avogadros

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuelTurn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
FBI has just announced about a mole on their organization. They are consulting Harry Potter about the situation

since he is good at catching snitches

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Wasted 4 hours in the ER this morning getting a mole checked out.

Apparently they all look the same and I should have left it in the yard.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Mexican whack-a-mole?

Guac-a-mole

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nai_nagitsoc
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
finding knee-mole, third part in the trilogy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billyonthereddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A momma mole, pappa mole and baby mole were sitting in their mole hole.

The dad suddenly sits up, sniffs the air and runs to the narrow opening.

"Somebody is baking! I smell nutmeg!"

The mother runs over and wedges herself in the remaining opening.

"Ooh! I smell vanilla and cinnamon!"

The baby poked and prodded but couldn't get past his mom and dad to smell the outside air.

"Oh man! All I smell is mole asses!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do the ritzy moles live?

Beverly Holes! (That's where I want to beeee)

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Sherlock Holmes: My dear Watson, you have a mole on your right upper thigh. /r/Jokes/comments/fu4m13/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kookykau
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
3 moles are digging their way out of prison.

The first mole says β€œI can smell the clean air and grass! We’re almost there!”

The second mole says β€œI can smell the fresh wet dirt! We’re almost there!”

The third mole says β€œReally? All I can smell is molasses.”

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chloeruel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them.

"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."

The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphaw0lf212
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you see when you look down a mole hole?

Molasses

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecmm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor! Doctor! I'm really concerned about this mole on my shoulder!

Doctor: I'm a Dermatologist, not a veterinarian.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground except for the eagle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatcornellbitch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do moles smell all day?

Mole-asses

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxipad213
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I really wanted to tell you guys a joke about moles.

But I don't know if you would dig it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dad-_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
There was once a mole who loved oranges...

However, the mole couldn't reach them from the high trees and he struggled to climb them. Luckily, there was a tall giraffe who offered to help and got the oranges down for the mole.

The mole would go up to the giraffe every morning and ask him for some oranges. The giraffe would happily oblige but little by little he would get more irritated. One day, the giraffe finally got mad and told the mole to see the badger who could make a tool to help him get the oranges down from the tree.

The mole trundled over to the badger and asked him to make him a tool to help with the orange problem. The badger happily agreed to help and went into his shed. For a few days after: cutting, grinding and sawing could be heard coming from his shed when he finally emerged with a 4-pointed tool. He then proceeded to demonstrate the 4-point tool by sticking it into an orange and allowing the juice from which to drain down the arm of the tool.

The mole was extremely happy and excited by his new magnificent 4-point tool and showed everyone it's amazing capabilities. After a while, however, he realised he had shown it to pretty much everyone. Then he remembered the black cat resting under the oak tree. So he walked over to the tree and tried to show the black cat the 4-point tool. The cat said he couldn't see it properly and asked the mole to come closer. The mole took a few steps forward. Again, the black cat requested the mole to come closer and the mole cautiously stepped closer. Finally the black cat lunged forward and ate the 4-point tool.

The mole couldn't believe it and exclaimed, "Why did you do that?"

To which the black cat replied, "Oh haven't you heard? I am a 4-point tool eater Jaguar!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alecroc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a large brown mole on my forearm - do I need to get it looked at?

http://imgur.com/gallery/vNoFX

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socaddict
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What food goes best with an arcade game in which you hit toy moles, which appear at random, back into their holes?

Guac-a-mole

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostAbouts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you stop a mole from digging holes in your lawn?

Take away his shovel

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glynnwlynn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A pirate goes to the doctor to get some suspicious moles checked.

The doctor, after examining him: Don’t worry. They’re benign.

Pirate: Are you sure? I thought I counted ten.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you play whack a mole with avocados​?

Whackamoley.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JarynN42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A family of moles was enjoying a nice Sunday morning...

...when father mole looks over lovingly to mother mole and says, "In appreciation of all you do, we are going to brunch today!"

Mother mole and baby mole excitedly get ready and put on their Sunday best.

When they are ready to leave, mother mole climbs up the tunnel first, and exclaims, "O my, I can smell pancakes and syrup!" Baby mole comes up next and says, "I can smell eggs and bacon!"

Father mole follows behind and says, "Funny, all I can smell is molasses!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trivialpursuits
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
There once was a family of moles...

A daddy mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. One day the daddy mole popped his head out of the ground and said, "I smell cookies!" The momma mole squeezed through the opening of the hole next to daddy mole and said, "I smell ice cream!" The baby mole tried popping out of the hole, but couldn't squeeze between his parents. He said, "All I smell is molasses..."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KataKataBijaksana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of mole cures headaches?

A paraceta-mole.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call guacamole made of moles?

Whackamole

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Becool959
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mole that likes avocado?

Guacamole

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demilio55
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A mole family is leaving its burrow for the day...

Dada Mole pokes his nose out of the mole hole, sniffs the air, and licks his lips. β€œMmm, someone nearby is baking.” he says. β€œI smell butter.”

Mama Mole comes up next and sniffs the air. Her eyes light up. "Yes, someone is baking,” she says. β€œI smell sugar!”

Brother Mole is next. β€œMmm, maybe some chocolate!” he exclaims as he does a little dance.

Little Baby Mole is last. He sniffs the air, gags and nearly chokes as he says β€œAll I smell is molasses.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSS24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The doctors found a mole on my arm in the shape of a reindeer.

Turns out I have skin prancer

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMiniMinotaur
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Whack-a-mole?

I'd rather guac one!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catanator500
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
5 moles are standing in a line. what does the last one smell?

Molasses.

just saw this one here and spit out my water https://www.instagram.com/p/-z5Bn4sUi2/

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeeWhiz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I heard that moles could be malignant so I asked my doctor about my two...

When the tests came back he said: "There be nine." Never trust a doctor who illegally downloaded his degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TowerSheep
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
[Request] Mole-related puns

So to clarify, a mole is a unit of measurement in chemistry. My chemistry class does this extra credit project every year where you make a diorama of a mole (animal), with some sort of pun. Examples: Mole-sama Bin Laden, Mole Digger, Deadmol3. Help me find a good idea?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProbablySpiderman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
🚨︎ report
A pirate went to see the doctor about the moles on his back…

"I wouldn't worry about it," said the doctor, "They're benign."

"Count 'em again doc," said the pirate, "You'll find there be ten."

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm actually starting to like the mole on my face

It's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shanem1996
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Best names for a mole?

I need your help Reddit, I need the most punny names for a mole. "Molezart", "Tootsie mole" etc.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sumsar1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Having mole problems?

Call out specialist Avogadro at 602-1023

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drei-im-weggle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's son was telling me about finding a dead mole near the dam he and his Mom were exploring earlier in the day...

To which I replied: "Hmph. Somebody must have whacked it."

Girlfriend rolled her eyes so hard she must have seen her brain.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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I should get this mole removed

but it's really started to grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grensley
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2013
🚨︎ report
How many moles are there in a bowl of guacamole?

Avocado's number!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Technoverlord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2013
🚨︎ report
I need mole puns

On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine

I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.

Thanks in advance.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/survivalking4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I need a bunch of mole related puns for a chemistry project.

Mole day, like the science thing. But I need puns for the animal. I'm supposed to make something for a project.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prg13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you see when you look down a mole hole?

Molasses.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nhmtbiker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The first mole crawled out of the hole and said "I smell strawberries!"

The second mole crawled out of the hole and said:

"I smell strawberries!"

The third mole crawled out of the hole and said:

"I smell molasses!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harryassburger-il
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report

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