My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: βSure, my door is always open.β
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
Doctor: Can we talk about your weight?
Certainly. It was about 20 minutes, but at least the chairs didn't break this time.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Are we going to talk about this oar what?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A husband and wife were at a marriage counselor. The wife complained, "he only talks about Star Wars! I've had it. I'm leaving him!" The counselor turned to the husband: "well?"
The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."
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︎ Nov 20 2020
It used to be taboo to talk about plastic surgery.
Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I hate when people talk about me behind my back.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
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︎ Nov 26 2020
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...
I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
My girlfriend said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture
I said we could table it for now.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I tried to talk to my friend about the Hobbit
but he had no idea what I was Tolkien about!
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︎ Oct 13 2020
I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.
Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Itβs weird- I canβt help but talk about footwear every time I sneeze.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Finally decided to talk to my therapist about my fear of Mexican food.
Took me a long time to finally be able to taco bout it. π€¦π»ββοΈ
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π
︎ Oct 08 2020
I tried to talk to my daughter about her chicken nuggets obsession, it didn't go well.
π︎ 184
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Everybody talks about the dark side of Reddit
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 12 2020
I accidentally trod on a beaker of acid while giving a talk about work safety...
After that I didnt have a leg to stand on
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Iβm getting tired of listening to my military friend talk about using UAVs...
He just drones on and on.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Everyone talks about Saudi's expensive tastes
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 23 2020
I am reluctant to talk about my chain-link strainer.
Someone might think it is a fence sieve.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 23 2020
I've heard so much about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one talks aboutβ¦
β¦the other four letters?
π︎ 575
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︎ May 02 2020
Why does school talk about triangles so much?
Some people don't get the point.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 19 2020
Cardi Bβs sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 07 2020
My son hates art so much that his body releases gas every time we talk about it
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Did you hear about the midget who could talk to the dead that was running from the police?
He was a small medium at large.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Did you hear about the two friends named Doug that got in a fight and donβt talk anymore?
Now theyβre both Doug-less
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︎ Aug 13 2020
When I want to talk with people I just met I talk to them about climate change
I find that it's a great ice breaker
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︎ Jun 09 2020
It's hard to talk my kids about sex
It's a pretty touchy subject
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 11 2020
You should never talk about the Titanic on a first date...
It's a terrible Icebreaker
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I need to talk with someone about what I should do with my urge to buy woodshop grippers...
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 15 2020
When Dumboβs mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
I'm an arborist, but my wife hates it when I talk about forestry.
I feel like I can't boreal with her.
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︎ May 21 2020
Police: We need to talk to your son about the fire at your neighbor's place
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︎ Jun 04 2020
My wife has gotten into being a furry and it's all she talks about!
She's become un-bear-able.
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Why donβt catholic priest talk about molestation in the church?
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︎ May 14 2020
Everyone braging about big Dicks, well I have a medium Dick, it can talk to ghosts
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 08 2020
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.
I said, βDonβt worry. We are all in the same boat.β
π︎ 8k
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︎ Dec 28 2018
I talk a lot about incontinency
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 15 2020
All this talk about Australia...
Is spreading like wildfire.
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︎ Jan 03 2020
I hate when people talk about humility!
The only time I experience humility is when I get in my hot car and it feels hard to breathe!
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 14 2020
I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 04 2020
I asked if it was ethical to talk about brains
They told me it was a gray area.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 17 2020
My friend used to sincerely talk about the works of Hemingway...
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 02 2020
I used to know a guy who was all about getting his waffle in the morning. That's all he'd talk about! He'd even take people's toast out of the toaster and put in his waffles.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 06 2020
My parents donβt talk about foreplay in front of me
They say itβs a touchy subject
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︎ Jan 02 2020
There's a lot of talk about zamboni driver David Ayres getting a once-in-a-lifetime win, but I don't think we've seen the last of him in the NHL.
/r/hockey/comments/f8c0jhβ¦
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︎ Feb 23 2020
I once put a list of symbols on a map and everyone still talks about it.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
I tried out a weight watchers group therapy session but no one would talk about their experiences.
There were just too many elephants in the room
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 06 2020
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, "My door is always open".
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
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