Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover it’s butt-quack.
Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail ?
A beavers tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Where do lizards go to fix their fallen tails?
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
How does a mermaid whashes it's tail?
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover up their butt quack
A white-tail keeps showing up at our house doing tricks, trying to impress us to get food...
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
What do you call a whale with a twisted loop in its tail?
Got a job selling new tails to animals that lose them.
I work in retail sales...
🤨
What does the cobra say when you step on its tail?
"That was a big misssnake!"
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What did the mermaid use to clean her tail?
I was required to add flair to this, True story not a flairy tail
I flipped a coin 15 times and it always landed on tails.
I'm starting to think that it's more than just a coin-cidence.
Where should a monkey go when it loses it's tail?
I had a terrible dream the other night that I was a tail pipe... I could barely sleep.
Did you know a white-tail deer can jump higher than the average house?
This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.
What did the Monkey say when his tail got run over by a train?
I once had the king of the jungle tell me he was actually a tiger.
What did Rudolph do when he lost his tail?
He went to the re-tail shop
What do you call a warning given out by a rattlesnake?
A brunette asked her blonde friend why she seemed so sad, she said I'm really upset because my cat lost his tail.
The brunette said, well why dont you take it to Walmart, it's the largest retailer in the world.
Penny for your thoughts on the coin shortage?
I can't make heads or tails of it. It just doesn't make cents. I guess the way people pay needs some change.
A man with a Mexican accent is delivering snails to a French restaurant.
He's pulled over for having a broken tail light and before the officer lets him go he asks "what's in this truck anyway?"
Escargot.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed when his stuffed lion tail fell on him?
How do you know if a dog is male or female?
Stroke its head.
If he wags his tail, it's male.
If she wags her tail, it's female.
Tail light. No pun intended.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
A coin
Source: my 7 year old sister
A view of the mane cabin from the tail end.
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails £1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Once upon a time there was this
lobster..."
What did the crocodile say when his tail was stepped on?
Why is a pigs tail like getting up at 3 o’clock in the morning? ...
My cat, "description", lost her tail recently. I had to give the vet a detailed description.
Fixing tail pipes is exhausting work
Is tempting to think cat tails are an evolutionary mistake.
In fact they're catastrophies.
I stepped on my cat's tail
A man walks into the Drs office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "What can I do for you today?" The duck says "Doc, can you get this guy off my tail?"
Several of the guys at the local pub have pony tails which they wear in pretty little man buns. I wonder if they'd ever consider getting a haircut...
I guess they'd have to mullet over.
What kind of bed time stories does the big bad wolf tell his kids?
A blind guy goes into the closing store, grabs his dog by the tail and begins to spin. A worker shocked by the sight asked "sir may i help you please". The guy smiles and says.
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?
Most of the time, an onion with a tail on it. But every once in a while, you get a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.
My 3 year old was hauling his T-Rex by the tail
Since its a big, it was touching the ground my whole time. I turn to my wife and say "Did you know T-Rex are mythical beasts? See it's a draggin'"
My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
Did you know that dogs keep track of how many times you've stepped on their tails?
What's red, has a tail, and hums?
My dog bit off my cat's tail off today. My dad said I should take the cat to Target
Since they are such a good retailer
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid tail feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
Poor little bunny
A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.
He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.
He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.
To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.
Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".
How do you decide which part of the fish to eat first?
You play heads or tails.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover there butt Quacks!
Straight from my ten year old.... I’m so proud.
What was that dinosaur with a wrecking ball hanging from its tail?
Saw this poor dog chasing his tail .. I asked him why?
He said with out a pause “ to make ends meet “
Horses that have tail lights
What do 2:30 am and a pig’s tail have in common?
It’s twirly!! 🤣😂🤣 (Slapping my knee)
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. “Quit hurting your mother.” I said “ You’re grounded!”
My dog's tail fell off and I am not sure why..
Waiting on the vet to give me a de-tailed report.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
(I made that joke up when I was 10 and had to wait another 25 years to become a dad to tell it.)
What is grey, has a tail and a large trunk?
A mouse going on a holiday.
The guy at the tuxedo store keeps hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
The saying goes, "every dog has their day". But a dog with a broken tail...
... well, they have a weak end.
Where can a monkey get a prosthetic tail?
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?
Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail?
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?
Where do animals go when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
How does a mermaid wash their tail?
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
Where do you take a dog when it’s tail falls off?
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do you call a dog with no tail?
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
Because it covers his butt quack
Where did the cat go after it lost it’s tail?
Where do animals go when they lose their tails?
What did the the dog do when he lost his tail?
He went to the retail store
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their butt quack
Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
Where does a cat go when he has lost his tail?
Where does the dog go after losing their tail?
Stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails £2 So i paid my £2 and he said...
"Once upon a time there was this lobster.."
What does a mermaid use to clean her tail?
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
Did you know that if you pour salt on an alligator's tail, it will fall off?
Yeah, pepper falls off too.
Where does a dog go when it loses it's tail?
When a dog lost it’s tail where does it go?
Where do you go if your dog loses it's tail?
Any re-tail store will do
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