Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover it’s butt-quack.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail ?

A re-tail store

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A beavers tail makes them look odd.

But without it they would look otter.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendan_07
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do lizards go to fix their fallen tails?

The retail shop

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtailavenger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The Retail store

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HANZ06
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a mermaid whashes it's tail?

It uses Tide.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenRedittor
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Tail lights
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silent_kill2748
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover up their butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A white-tail keeps showing up at our house doing tricks, trying to impress us to get food...

It's endeering.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.

"No thanks, just looking around."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a whale with a twisted loop in its tail?

MΓΆebius Dick

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a job selling new tails to animals that lose them.

I work in retail sales... 🀨

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the cobra say when you step on its tail?

"That was a big misssnake!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beans_Shadow
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...

Once upon a time there was this lobster...

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__kitten
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the mermaid use to clean her tail?

Tide

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchellOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was required to add flair to this, True story not a flairy tail
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethan-555-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I flipped a coin 15 times and it always landed on tails.

I'm starting to think that it's more than just a coin-cidence.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89odev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Where should a monkey go when it loses it's tail?

A retailer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CCG_UNITED
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a terrible dream the other night that I was a tail pipe... I could barely sleep.

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know a white-tail deer can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Monkey say when his tail got run over by a train?

Won’t be long now

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had the king of the jungle tell me he was actually a tiger.

He was lion.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Rudolph do when he lost his tail?

He went to the re-tail shop

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/datboi514
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
These horse tail lights
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a warning given out by a rattlesnake?

A cautionary tail.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A brunette asked her blonde friend why she seemed so sad, she said I'm really upset because my cat lost his tail.

The brunette said, well why dont you take it to Walmart, it's the largest retailer in the world.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klmkab04
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Penny for your thoughts on the coin shortage?

I can't make heads or tails of it. It just doesn't make cents. I guess the way people pay needs some change.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuddleOfMud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A man with a Mexican accent is delivering snails to a French restaurant.

He's pulled over for having a broken tail light and before the officer lets him go he asks "what's in this truck anyway?"

Escargot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AyoRobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got killed when his stuffed lion tail fell on him?

It was a catastrophe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughperman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you know if a dog is male or female?

Stroke its head.

If he wags his tail, it's male.

If she wags her tail, it's female.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pur__0_0__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Tail light. No pun intended.
πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcatickat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What has a head, a tail, but no body?

A coin

Source: my 7 year old sister

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedMammon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A view of the mane cabin from the tail end.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blackbeardmd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails Β£1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the crocodile say when his tail was stepped on?

Oww-ligator!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeinrichLandgraf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a pigs tail like getting up at 3 o’clock in the morning? ...

β€˜Cos its twirly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My cat, "description", lost her tail recently. I had to give the vet a detailed description.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucavon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Fixing tail pipes is exhausting work
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Is tempting to think cat tails are an evolutionary mistake.

In fact they're catastrophies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/parandexical
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I stepped on my cat's tail

He was furryous

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khevan_YT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into the Drs office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "What can I do for you today?" The duck says "Doc, can you get this guy off my tail?"
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thalpal317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
First attempt
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisk114
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Several of the guys at the local pub have pony tails which they wear in pretty little man buns. I wonder if they'd ever consider getting a haircut...

I guess they'd have to mullet over.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of bed time stories does the big bad wolf tell his kids?

Hairy Tails!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaphpath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A blind guy goes into the closing store, grabs his dog by the tail and begins to spin. A worker shocked by the sight asked "sir may i help you please". The guy smiles and says.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyosk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

Most of the time, an onion with a tail on it. But every once in a while, you get a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My 3 year old was hauling his T-Rex by the tail

Since its a big, it was touching the ground my whole time. I turn to my wife and say "Did you know T-Rex are mythical beasts? See it's a draggin'"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notary_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that dogs keep track of how many times you've stepped on their tails?

It's your Yelp score

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/all-the-puppies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A tail of two kitties
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/euanwmcgill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red, has a tail, and hums?

An electric radish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doryenas
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog bit off my cat's tail off today. My dad said I should take the cat to Target

Since they are such a good retailer

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Challengedildo
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid tail feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ROLLTHEWAVE
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Poor little bunny

A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.

He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.

He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.

To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.

Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺHow do you decide which part of the fish to eat first?‬

You play heads or tails.‬

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover there butt Quacks!

Straight from my ten year old.... I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What was that dinosaur with a wrecking ball hanging from its tail?

Mileysaurus?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plaineman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw this poor dog chasing his tail .. I asked him why?

He said with out a pause β€œ to make ends meet β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oryuan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Horses that have tail lights
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not-Trump007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do 2:30 am and a pig’s tail have in common?

It’s twirly!! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ (Slapping my knee)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragamorph
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. β€œQuit hurting your mother.” I said β€œ You’re grounded!”

β€œGo to your womb!”

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thor_loop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My dog's tail fell off and I am not sure why..

Waiting on the vet to give me a de-tailed report.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?

It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.

(I made that joke up when I was 10 and had to wait another 25 years to become a dad to tell it.)

πŸ‘︎ 654
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrakemanBob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
What is grey, has a tail and a large trunk?

A mouse going on a holiday.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
The guy at the tuxedo store keeps hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone.

He said, β€œFine. Suit yourself.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The saying goes, "every dog has their day". But a dog with a broken tail...

... well, they have a weak end.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Where can a monkey get a prosthetic tail?

From the pretense aisle

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?

A retail store

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dam_b_ver
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail?

The re-tail store

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?

A retail store

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wasabimohmayahai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do animals go when they lose their tail?

They go to the retail store.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BladeSides
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a mermaid wash their tail?

They use tide

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deadlyporkchop7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his quack.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foammunition
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you take a dog when it’s tail falls off?

The retail store

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoKroger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...

Once upon a time there was this lobster...

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog with no tail?

A do.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Otacon56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

Because it covers his butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Divine_Squire
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the cat go after it lost it’s tail?

The retail store

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/connornel18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cellvive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the the dog do when he lost his tail?

He went to the retail store

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joanna810
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover their butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dpete88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

The re-tail store

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a cat go when he has lost his tail?

A retail store.

πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Manny-Hatz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Where does the dog go after losing their tail?

The retail store.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The747IsDead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails Β£2 So i paid my Β£2 and he said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster.."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiavyas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a mermaid use to clean her tail?

Tide.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrOneHip
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his butt-quack

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kkjensen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that if you pour salt on an alligator's tail, it will fall off?

Yeah, pepper falls off too.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Where does a dog go when it loses it's tail?

To a RETAIL store

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rmartin217
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
When a dog lost it’s tail where does it go?

To the retail store!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Denis0913
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do you go if your dog loses it's tail?

Any re-tail store will do

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalvinTuck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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