The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
I've got typo diabetes.
Drycoughski.
From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.
Tie food
Dashing
On the plus side, I no longer need a Sumo suit.
Because the days of fuchsia past
Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
It’s called Tailor Swift.
They have to fit the Bill.
Must have cost him an arm and a leg
He loved to feel the air on the G string.
It's for fall!
I hate knight shifts.
I think It may have cost him a couple arms and a couple legs.
She said “then wear your own one then”
A wear wolf
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
A Lamb Bikini
Hey fam... My grandpa passed away yesterday and as I’ve been reflecting on old memories I vaguely remembered this old joke he used to tell me. I was hoping maybe someone in this community could help. I don’t remember much about it other than that it was about a suit that didn’t fit and the person in the joke had to keep getting it tailored. And maybe it was just the way my grandpa told the joke, but he’d always make this really theatrical voice and yell “hey! what did you do to my new suit?!” If anyone can help a grieving girl out that would be swell. :)
He had a coughing fit.
A knight towel
I lost the case
Attire.
Just let that sink in...
Even my blood is a Type O!
Well, it was his birthday and he looks good in a dinner suit.
Stark naked
One wears a suit and the other just pants.
A zoo-kini
Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
Edit: good lord, I didn’t know someone else posted this previously. I thought it was funny as heck and my kids rolled their eyes when I told it SO THERE.
but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Isolated showers.
He calls them “in vest mints”.
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
Jake says, “No, just a regular suit.”
A suite potato.
It cost him an arm and a leg.
I hate knight shifts.
