Why do people in N/A stand in circles and hold hands???

Because they dont do Lines anymore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trippin-mellon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me the house was cold, I told him to go stand in the corner...

'Cause the corner is 90 degrees.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
It was so hot yesterday I had to stand in the shade.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HuwJon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:

"Put the horses in the back." I hate the song but it made me laugh

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shromboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Theres 3.3 million people in here so I figured id go ahead and post that im looking for one night stand.

Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't Stand in front of a running car!

You'll get Tired!

Don't stand behind them either!

You'll get exhausted!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you stand all of the boxers in the world in a row?

The punchline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TDA_Liamo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StupidSexyFlanderss_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend couldn’t stand my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.

The irony is that I’m a Gemini.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnsobenj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who's only interested in one night stands?

Humpty Dumpty

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My therapist hates it when I stand in the corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.

It’s annoying, but I’m a big fan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 256
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend decided to do stand up comedy in a cemetery

It was a grave mistake

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend used to get so nervous that he peed his pants every time he had to stand up in his third grade class.

Finally he quit his job as a teacher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
when your kids are learning to drive, don't stand in their way!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Two things I cannot stand in this sick world is discrimination

And the Dutch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A man takes his wife to an unusual restaurant where you must stand in separate lines for each food item ...

As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.

He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. β€œWhat would you like to drink?” he asks.

β€œA glass of punch would be nice,” she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.

Sometimes there is no punch line.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Curmudgeon1836
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
In class the teacher told me to stand up and talk about something I’m not good at begging with the letter C.

I chose spelling.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrScotty15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did John Snow stand in line for 6 hours at Apple store?

For the watch!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/str33techie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't stand people who make fun of others in wheelchairs.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canigetahoyeah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...

He's my mast-cot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time the doorbell rings, my dog runs and stands in the corner.

He’s a Boxer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails Β£1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by.

People hate it, but I’m a fan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TooCoolToSocialize
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pparten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the F in Ethiopia stand for?

Food

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CanadaIsWeird
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitch_watson
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling some really excellent jokes. I turned to the local tribesman and said "that lizard is really funny!" The tribesman replied "that's not a lizard... he's a stand up chameleon"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Go stand in the corner.

My teacher dropped this one in math class today.

Girl: it's so cold in here

Teacher: why don't you go stand in the corner

Girl: [confused look] why?

Teacher: because it's 90 degrees over there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wafflizer5000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
What's O in Reddit stands for?

Original content.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/venki131
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I once performed stand up in a prison...

What a captive audience!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JamWat23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend said he was cold, so I said, "go stand in a corner, they're always 90 degrees."

His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NecroNinja31
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stand-in speaker at a dog conference?

A Sub-woofer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wasabi-bean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Told my dad I was cold, his response was to tell me to stand in the corner

It’s 90 degrees there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...

It's always about 90 degrees

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mediumbugger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner of a room.

They're normally around 90 degrees.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RespectTheFancy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're cold, stand in the corner

It's usually 90 degrees

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If your ever cold, stand in the corner.

Its 90 degrees

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Believe-it-Geico
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Feeling cold? Go stand in the corner

It's 90 degrees

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elegant_rose392
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
People in wheelchairs can't stand when they're made fun of
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/just_a_gene
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90Β°
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/david7494
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A kid told me he was cold so I told him to go stand in the corner

It's 90 degrees there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChildishHambino11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time I go to my therapist, I stand in one corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.

Everyone hates it, but I’m a fan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.

He’s a Boxer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re ever cold, just go stand in the corner.

It’s always 90 degrees there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Malminas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.