Why do people in N/A stand in circles and hold hands???
Because they dont do Lines anymore.
My son told me the house was cold, I told him to go stand in the corner...
'Cause the corner is 90 degrees.
It was so hot yesterday I had to stand in the shade.
I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:
"Put the horses in the back."
I hate the song but it made me laugh
Theres 3.3 million people in here so I figured id go ahead and post that im looking for one night stand.
Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.
Don't Stand in front of a running car!
You'll get Tired!
Don't stand behind them either!
You'll get exhausted!
What do you get if you stand all of the boxers in the world in a row?
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
My girlfriend couldn’t stand my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.
The irony is that I’m a Gemini.
What do you call someone who's only interested in one night stands?
My therapist hates it when I stand in the corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
It’s annoying, but I’m a big fan.
My friend decided to do stand up comedy in a cemetery
My friend used to get so nervous that he peed his pants every time he had to stand up in his third grade class.
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
when your kids are learning to drive, don't stand in their way!
Two things I cannot stand in this sick world is discrimination
A man takes his wife to an unusual restaurant where you must stand in separate lines for each food item ...
As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.
He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. “What would you like to drink?” he asks.
“A glass of punch would be nice,” she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.
Sometimes there is no punch line.
In class the teacher told me to stand up and talk about something I’m not good at begging with the letter C.
Why did John Snow stand in line for 6 hours at Apple store?
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...
He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.
Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.
As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.
A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.
When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,
“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”
“It’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”
Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.
“Ya see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"
I can't stand people who make fun of others in wheelchairs.
On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...
Every time the doorbell rings, my dog runs and stands in the corner.
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails £1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Once upon a time there was this
lobster..."
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.
Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.
I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by.
People hate it, but I’m a fan.
What do you call it when a shit takes a stand for what it believes in?
What does the F in Ethiopia stand for?
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling some really excellent jokes. I turned to the local tribesman and said "that lizard is really funny!" The tribesman replied "that's not a lizard... he's a stand up chameleon"
Go stand in the corner.
My teacher dropped this one in math class today.
Girl: it's so cold in here
Teacher: why don't you go stand in the corner
Girl: [confused look] why?
Teacher: because it's 90 degrees over there
What's O in Reddit stands for?
I once performed stand up in a prison...
My friend said he was cold, so I said, "go stand in a corner, they're always 90 degrees."
His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.
What do you call a stand-in speaker at a dog conference?
Told my dad I was cold, his response was to tell me to stand in the corner
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...
It's always about 90 degrees
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner of a room.
They're normally around 90 degrees.
If you're cold, stand in the corner
If your ever cold, stand in the corner.
Feeling cold? Go stand in the corner
People in wheelchairs can't stand when they're made fun of
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90°
A kid told me he was cold so I told him to go stand in the corner
Every time I go to my therapist, I stand in one corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
Everyone hates it, but I’m a fan.
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.
If you’re ever cold, just go stand in the corner.
It’s always 90 degrees there.
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