What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can tell when they're standing too.
Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up and hears someone singing “Don’t stop Believing”.
It was an unexpected Journey.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy
Someone asked me if I would ever stop singing Wonderwall
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Office!
I dont know who you are, but I WILL get you for this. You have my Word.
Two people are at someone's funeral
The host asks the guest,
"Would you like to say a word?"
The guest than goes up than says,
"Bargain"
The host starts crying and says,
"That means a great deal."
Someone asked me to name a greater philosopher than Nietzsche.
Someone fell into the Nile river
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
Someone stole the harnesses at the canine facility last night...
Someone who likes playing racing games online is...
Someone asked if there is a local chess club?
If you ever need someone who's terrible at hiding
If your in the bottom bunk of a bunk bed and someone's asleep in the top bunk,
Does that mean you're under a rest?
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
"What do you call someone with no body and no nose?"
Someone asked the world’s smartest scientist when the pandemic would be over...🤔
And the world’s smartest scientist replied, “I cannot say, I’m not a politician.”
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it
When someone sees you with Apple product.
Someone asked Treebeard if he was proficient with Microsoft Office.
If someone yawns on tv and yawning is contagious, that person has a chance of being a superspreader and causing a short yawndemic 🐸
Someone: I like your name!
Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
Someone stole my Tesla...
Does that make it an Edison?
Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-
I was pretty sure that he Cayman left
Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
Yesterday I met someone who didn't know what × (the multiplication symbol) meant...
It really is a sign of the times.
When someone gifts you a watch
Today someone hit me with a baguette
Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how to feel about that.
A man asks a police officer if it’s a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes
Officer: “Yes, that’s assault!”
Man: “I know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”
How do you keep someone in suspense?
Me everytime someone asks for help
Someone stole my toilet.
A detective came to the house, but he found nothing to go on.
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
When you meet someone with the same name as you!
I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.
A man was just attacked by someone holding a compass
He didn't know where to turn, before things went south.
You may think it's funny to kiss someone while you have a runny nose
Someone stole my oven
I'm quite deranged over it
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden
Where do you take someone who has been injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?
Someone called me fat
But did I get mad? No, I was the bigger man.
My neighbor spent all day laying sod in his front garden, then last night, someone stole it!
He’s outside now, looking forlorn…
It’s actually a crime to throw sodium chloride at someone.
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