A list of puns related to "Soap Tree"
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡My brother: "I thought you might get bored being at home, so I taped you some holiday soaps".
He handed me a santa- and pine-tree-shaped hand soap, taped together.
My younger sister says we don't have a fairy to go on the top. My dad walks out for a short time. We hear him washing some dishes. He comes back with an empty bottle of fairy liquid (dish soap called fairy) takes the top off it and places it atop the tree.
Dunno how long its going to be there.
My kid surprised me today with a handmade book with dad jokes. Each joke had an associated graphic too as a bonus! I'm so happy I wanted to share the joy with you guys.
These are the 26 jokes (some I've learned from here, but a few of them I've never heard):
I'm afraid for the calendar, its days are numbered.
My wide said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That's a big step forward!
What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says - I'll have a beer and a mop please.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
I don't trust trees, they're too shady.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Did you hear the rumour about the butter? I did, but I'm not going to spread it!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself? Because it was two-tired.
Why did Billy get fired from the banana packaging factory? He kept trowing away the bent ones.
Why was math so sad? Because of all its problems.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
A guy walks into a bar and got disqualified from the limbo contest.
Have you ever try to catch fog? I did once, but I mist.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
I Was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.
Why are piggy banks so wise? Because they're filled with common cents.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
You know, people say they pick their noses, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What did zero said to eight? That belt looks great on you.
To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word.
I hope you find a few new ones too in this list.
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