No need for gold. I'm fine with silver(ware).
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
What is magnificent without silver?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Why are silver haired characters so badass?
Because they are βAgβ
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Whatβs silver and bad for your penis?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
I married my wife for her looks
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
Thanks for the silver β€οΈ
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
Why donβt ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.
Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!
π︎ 234
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
π︎ 99
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
In the movies, silver bullets can kill werewolves.
In the military, it's used for analyzing heat casualties.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
π︎ 168
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...
I took gold, silver and bronze.
π︎ 111
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Hope that job doesnβt suck
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
If you kill a werewolf with silver bullets, how do you kill a vampire?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
If you find gold in Australia, where do you look for silver?
π︎ 844
π
︎ Oct 03 2019
I once won silver for curling and bronze for the Bob
...yet hairdresser of year still eludes me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 23 2020
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
Iβll beheading there shortly
Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
π︎ 234
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up ...
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isnβt Friday the thirteen... yikes!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
Iron Man and the Silver Surfer is teaming up for the next movie to fight crime.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 24 2018
Gloopy substance leaves hotel
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Which country is famous for its silver?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 14 2020
What did the Silver Surfer say when blasted with hydrogen gas?
AgHHHHHHHHHHHH..
I'll show myself out.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
"Do you prefer silver or gold?"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
What was Long John Silver doing in a bank ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
What does a werewolf cry out when shot with a silver bullet?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
What do clouds wear under their shorts?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
My son just told me his first dad joke. He's 8, so go easy.
Son: what did the fig say to the table?
Me: I don't know, what did the fig say to the table?
Son, angry voice: Hey! I'm asking the questions here. You FIG-ure it out.
Edit: thanks for the silver, I'll tell the boy in the morning!
Edit 2: explained to my son about the up votes and awards. When he heard that someone spent real money to congratulate him for the joke, he said he bets it was his grandparents. He's excited y'all enjoyed it.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 23 2020
Quick, silver medal for this pun!
π︎ 63
π
︎ Oct 11 2018
What is blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Edit : Thanks for the silver and gold
Edit 2 : Wow that blue up
Edit 3 : I never type "thanks for the ..." line, but since silver is also a colour, I did.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
I have decided not to vaccinate my kids.
I believe it's best to let the doctor do it.
Edit: Thanks for the Silver :)
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Dec 07 2019
This was served to me on a silver platter...
My friend is in the process of moving and was asked how the move was expected to go.
βIt should be pretty easy, I have very little furnitureβ
βReally? Youβre kinda a big guy.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
What kind of exercise does Long John Silver prefer?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
The person at the hairdressers asked me, "Are you braiding that girl's hair whilst dyeing it silver?"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
Where do you take somebody that has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
π︎ 112
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be alloys!
π︎ 307
π
︎ Jan 19 2019
If you find gold in Australia where do you look for silver?
π︎ 75
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
Iron Man and The Silver Surfer are teaming up for the next movie.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
I loudly drank some silver...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
The Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up...
They formed an alloy-ence
π︎ 62
π
︎ Feb 25 2019
If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up...
π︎ 183
π
︎ Sep 03 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
