People say puns are just bad dad jokes.

I don't think that could be father from the truth.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChickenWrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Mushroom pun ideas please!!

Everyone in my gc are saying puns like:

There isn’t β€˜mushroom’ here, Wow you’re a real fun-guy! and My next pun is really shittake...

Any good mushroom pun ideas? 😝

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aribowe13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend likes to tell dad jokes.

Some of his puns get so bad, he keeps a piece of paper in his wallet that says "puns" on it. When someone says his puns are terrible, he takes it out and rips it in half saying "no, THESE puns are tear-able."

He will make a great dad.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Magma151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
🚨︎ report
How do you say β€œConstipation” in German?

Farfrompoopin

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BisexualBatman_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2022
🚨︎ report
Quite a good one if i say so myself
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month ❀️

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What is the worst insult you can say to a ghost?

β€œGet a life!”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Keithninety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What do rich people say when they tickle their baby?

Gucci Gucci Gucci

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/More_Chain_110
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevindavis338
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Is this what they mean when they say "Boil potatoes in jacket"?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife says I need to stop making jokes about leftover food

I’m going to try going cold turkey.

πŸ‘︎ 508
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife dadjoked me tonight. I was saying that I need to call a small engine repair guy to look at our snowblower.

She responds, β€œwell, Kelly’s husband Mike fixes those things but he’s pretty tall.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2022
🚨︎ report
I have to say...
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikubestgirl_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2022
🚨︎ report
Last night in bed, my wife kept saying β€œI was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein and I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings”

She’s Tolkien in her sleep again.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok_Presence36
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the blanket say to the bed?

I’ve got you covered

πŸ‘︎ 436
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one boob say to the other boob?

You’re my breast friend

πŸ‘︎ 216
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fleececlover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 874
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spank_z_monkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2022
🚨︎ report
MY FRIEND KEEPS SAYING β€œCHEER UP MAN, IT COULD BE WORSE, YOU COULD BE STUCK UNDERGROUND IN A HOLE FULL OF WATER.”

I know he means well

πŸ‘︎ 472
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtg1960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2022
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says:

β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

πŸ‘︎ 908
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Farfocele
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say to the reporter asking about the accusations?
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoutubeBinger99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
🚨︎ report
A teacher is doing attendance. she comes across the name β€œHijkm” she says β€œI’m sorry, I’m not sure how to pronounce this name,” then spells it out. A girl raises her hand and says...

β€œThat’s me, and it’s pronounced Noelle”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfPacific
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one nut say to the other nut while he was chasing him?

I’m a cashew

πŸ‘︎ 223
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Bob Ross say when he heard of his wife's pregnancy?

Just a happy accident.

πŸ‘︎ 655
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FitProblem6248
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together, we can stop this crap.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBeanhead3100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Lil Jon say when his credit card transaction was denied?

TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2022
🚨︎ report
how does a dyslexic mexican say hello?

β€œaloha”

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baritonepig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

πŸ‘︎ 182
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Water_Chestnut3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved at each other.

Did you see that coming?

Are you shore?

Ok fine! Don’t be such a beach

πŸ‘︎ 257
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luwude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2022
🚨︎ report
He did say β€œβ€¦life is continuously being hungry” or something like that.
πŸ‘︎ 490
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreJoker85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye Matey...

πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2022
🚨︎ report
What does santander say walking backwards?

Oh oh oh.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tsunamislam1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the rabbi say to the foreskin?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ogrobotoya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2022
🚨︎ report
I always say "1/2" instead of "one half"

Because fractions speak louder than words

πŸ‘︎ 208
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuxedo_Muffin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2022
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a clinic to donate blood. The doctor says to the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", the rabbit replied with great sadness.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2022
🚨︎ report
My GF wrote me a letter saying she's splitting because of my infatuation with Elvis

I mailed it back with Return to Sender.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berkleysquare
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about words ending in "ough"

Those are the tough ones!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamestheredd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2022
🚨︎ report
With so many disagreements on Reddit, there is one thing I can gladly say we agree on…

Everyone reading this is on the same page.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2022
🚨︎ report
It's an astronaut's first day on the ISS and he's making himself a coffee. He says to a colleague:

"I can't find the milk"

And the other astronaut grinning:

"In space no one can, here use cream"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2022
🚨︎ report
Kanye West has mental issues but no one wants to say anything because they are all Ye's men.
πŸ‘︎ 310
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LiwetJared
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2022
🚨︎ report
What does danny say when he sees a cool steep edge during a hike?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phoneygawd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Sean Connery say when a book fell onto his head?

β€œI blame my shelf.”

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlanetKi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific?

Nothing, they just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoastedGnome
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the man who illegally download the entire Wikipedia say when he was arrested?

Wait, I can explain everything!

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I always say "muchos" to Spanish people.

It means a lot to them.

πŸ‘︎ 504
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Decent_Syrup_371
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2022
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old says he came up with this one "What kind of lion is Desperate Dan afraid of?"

A Dandylion.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n2oukdnb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the lumberjack say to the talking tree?

You will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2022
🚨︎ report
This just happened in real life, and I got not even a chuckle.

True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman can’t bend to pick it up because… ya know… she’s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while she’s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and say…

β€œHere, let me give you a hand”

She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.

πŸ‘︎ 37k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nsk09003
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pleiades_death
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2022
🚨︎ report
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norgrenator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2022
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.