People say puns are just bad dad jokes.
I don't think that could be father from the truth.
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︎ Feb 15 2019
Mushroom pun ideas please!!
Everyone in my gc are saying puns like:
There isnβt βmushroomβ here,
Wow youβre a real fun-guy! and
My next pun is really shittake...
Any good mushroom pun ideas? π
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︎ Mar 29 2022
My friend likes to tell dad jokes.
Some of his puns get so bad, he keeps a piece of paper in his wallet that says "puns" on it. When someone says his puns are terrible, he takes it out and rips it in half saying "no, THESE puns are tear-able."
He will make a great dad.
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π
︎ Nov 16 2013
How do you say βConstipationβ in German?
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︎ Dec 13 2022
Quite a good one if i say so myself
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π
︎ Dec 15 2022
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month β€οΈ
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π
︎ Dec 18 2022
What is the worst insult you can say to a ghost?
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π
︎ Nov 18 2022
What do rich people say when they tickle their baby?
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︎ Nov 23 2022
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Dec 05 2022
Is this what they mean when they say "Boil potatoes in jacket"?
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︎ Dec 04 2022
My wife says I need to stop making jokes about leftover food
Iβm going to try going cold turkey.
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︎ Dec 20 2022
My wife dadjoked me tonight. I was saying that I need to call a small engine repair guy to look at our snowblower.
She responds, βwell, Kellyβs husband Mike fixes those things but heβs pretty tall.β
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π
︎ Dec 17 2022
I have to say...
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︎ Nov 06 2022
Last night in bed, my wife kept saying βI was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein and I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Ringsβ
Sheβs Tolkien in her sleep again.
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π
︎ Nov 19 2022
What did the blanket say to the bed?
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π
︎ Dec 17 2022
What did one boob say to the other boob?
Youβre my breast friend
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π
︎ Dec 08 2022
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
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π
︎ Nov 22 2022
MY FRIEND KEEPS SAYING βCHEER UP MAN, IT COULD BE WORSE, YOU COULD BE STUCK UNDERGROUND IN A HOLE FULL OF WATER.β
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︎ Dec 16 2022
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says:
βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
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︎ Dec 02 2022
What did the priest say to the reporter asking about the accusations?
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︎ Dec 19 2022
A teacher is doing attendance. she comes across the name βHijkmβ she says βIβm sorry, Iβm not sure how to pronounce this name,β then spells it out. A girl raises her hand and says...
βThatβs me, and itβs pronounced Noelleβ
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︎ Sep 24 2022
What did one nut say to the other nut while he was chasing him?
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︎ Dec 03 2022
What did Bob Ross say when he heard of his wife's pregnancy?
π︎ 655
π
︎ Nov 25 2022
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together, we can stop this crap.
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π
︎ Oct 31 2022
What did Lil Jon say when his credit card transaction was denied?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 14 2022
how does a dyslexic mexican say hello?
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π
︎ Dec 18 2022
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! Iβve fallen and I canβt giddyup!
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︎ Dec 15 2022
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved at each other.
Did you see that coming?
Are you shore?
Ok fine! Donβt be such a beach
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π
︎ Nov 21 2022
He did say ββ¦life is continuously being hungryβ or something like that.
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︎ Nov 27 2022
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
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︎ Dec 12 2022
What does santander say walking backwards?
π︎ 80
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︎ Nov 28 2022
What did the rabbi say to the foreskin?
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π
︎ Dec 01 2022
I always say "1/2" instead of "one half"
Because fractions speak louder than words
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π
︎ Dec 05 2022
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a clinic to donate blood. The doctor says to the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", the rabbit replied with great sadness.
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π
︎ Oct 09 2022
My GF wrote me a letter saying she's splitting because of my infatuation with Elvis
I mailed it back with Return to Sender.
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︎ Dec 19 2022
You know what they say about words ending in "ough"
Those are the tough ones!
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π
︎ Dec 17 2022
With so many disagreements on Reddit, there is one thing I can gladly say we agree onβ¦
Everyone reading this is on the same page.
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︎ Dec 12 2022
It's an astronaut's first day on the ISS and he's making himself a coffee. He says to a colleague:
"I can't find the milk"
And the other astronaut grinning:
"In space no one can, here use cream"
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π
︎ Sep 30 2022
Kanye West has mental issues but no one wants to say anything because they are all Ye's men.
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︎ Oct 23 2022
What does danny say when he sees a cool steep edge during a hike?
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π
︎ Dec 14 2022
What did Sean Connery say when a book fell onto his head?
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︎ Nov 23 2022
What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific?
Nothing, they just waved.
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︎ Dec 19 2022
What did the man who illegally download the entire Wikipedia say when he was arrested?
Wait, I can explain everything!
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π
︎ Dec 18 2022
I always say "muchos" to Spanish people.
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︎ Nov 15 2022
My 6 year old says he came up with this one "What kind of lion is Desperate Dan afraid of?"
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︎ Sep 17 2022
What did the lumberjack say to the talking tree?
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︎ Dec 20 2022
This just happened in real life, and I got not even a chuckle.
True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman canβt bend to pick it up becauseβ¦ ya knowβ¦ sheβs holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while sheβs looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and sayβ¦
βHere, let me give you a handβ
She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.
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︎ Dec 09 2022
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Nov 08 2022
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
π︎ 88
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︎ Nov 22 2022
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