A-door-able Valentineβs Puns
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My brotherβs pun game is strong...
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︎ Jun 23 2020
There was a man who entered a local paperβs pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns hoping at ο»Ώleast one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, ο»Ώno pun in ten did.
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︎ Apr 05 2017
Is anyone going to re-post the βwhy does Norwayβs Navy have barcodes on their shipsβ joke today?
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︎ Aug 01 2022
As an American, itβs sad to see that nothing is made in the USA anymore
I just bought this new TV and it says βBuilt in Antenna.β I donβt even know where that is.
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︎ Jul 23 2022
I saw a Karen today with a bumper sticker that said βYou will address me by my husbandβs rankβ.
Guess she just wanted her conversation to be private.
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︎ Jul 21 2022
Hereβs a still-frame ofβ¦
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︎ Aug 04 2022
My dad claimed he could boost our TVβs sound quality by putting plastic wrap over the speakers.
He said Saran-sound is all the rage nowadays.
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︎ Jul 31 2022
When the therapist said, βSo, tell me what brings you here today?β My wife growled, βItβs really difficult to live with him. Heβs so literal!β I shook my head, chuckled and explained...
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︎ Jul 22 2022
The farmerβs son came home from college and he asked βwell son what did you learn?β the son replies βΟ rΒ²β.
The disappointed father retorts, βno no son, pie are round. Cornbread are square.β
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︎ Jul 30 2022
Whatβs brown and sticky?
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︎ Jul 26 2022
I recently rearranged all the labels on my wifeβs spice rack.
She hasnβt noticed yet, but the thyme is cumin
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︎ Jul 26 2022
Since itβs the Fourth of July, I just told my daughters they were named after George Washington.
About 280 years after to be precise.
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︎ Jul 04 2022
Went to see the new Thor movie for my friendβs birthday and one of them gave him a card and wrote Thor themed puns.
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︎ Jul 13 2022
Whenβs Christmas again?
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︎ Aug 07 2022
Why does Norwayβs Navy have barcodes on their ships?
To automate manual processes and minimize the likelihood of error while increasing overall process efficiency.
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︎ Aug 01 2022
Boss: Hey, howβs that hot glue working?
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︎ Jul 10 2022
Sheβs a ten, but she can move things with her mind.
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︎ Jul 23 2022
Proud dad moment, this is from my daughter. βWhere is a bacteriaβs favorite place to sit?β
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︎ Jul 19 2022
Why is Billy Joelβs laundry still wet?
He Didnβt Start The Dryer.
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︎ Jul 09 2022
**Knock knock** βwhoβs there?β βWendyβ βWendy who?β
Wendy door is open you will find out β¦
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︎ Jul 16 2022
Whatβs the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?
π︎ 6k
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︎ Jun 25 2022
I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when itβs raining in Sweden
but how am I supposed to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
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︎ Aug 04 2022
Whatβs the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tub of glue?
You canβt tuna fish, but you can tuna pianoβ¦
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︎ Jun 07 2022
Lifeβs a beach
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︎ Jun 30 2022
Whatβs a pirateβs favorite genre of music?
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︎ Aug 07 2022
Did you know thereβs an odd number that if you take one letter away it becomes even?
Itβs called βsevenβ.
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︎ Jul 09 2022
My Latina wife used to seductively roll her rβs when speaking Spanish to me. But now that Iβm into telling dad jokes she doesnβt do that anymore.
These days she just rolls her eyes.
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︎ Aug 07 2022
If thereβs a king sized mattress and a queen sized mattress, where does the prince sleep?
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︎ Jun 05 2022
Colonel Mustardβs wife recently left him.
She left him a Dijon letter.
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︎ Jul 09 2022
My wife got mad because I donβt know Eminemβs real name.
I just donβt see why it Mathers
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︎ May 06 2022
What does salad say when itβs time to go?
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︎ Jul 26 2022
my french friend was showing me his yachts, he said βthis is Un, this is Deux, this is Trois, this is Quatre, this is Six.β confused, I asked, βwhereβs the fifth?β he looked out at the sea and said
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︎ Jul 15 2022
What are a chocolate barβs pronouns?
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︎ Jul 16 2022
During this heatwave, I think itβs a good idea to wear two different deodorantsβ¦ one under each armpit.
But thatβs just my two scents
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︎ Jun 25 2022
Thereβs a 12-step program for pun users.
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︎ Aug 05 2022
What do you call a mobster whoβs buried in cement?
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︎ Aug 03 2022
Itβs stressful, being a calculator
Everyoneβs always counting on you
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︎ Aug 05 2022
My son was so happy with the response to his joke yesterday he wanted me to share this one with you too. Whatβs the most reliable part of the human body?
Your fingers. You can always count on them.
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︎ Apr 22 2022
What do you call a priest thatβs also a lawyer?
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︎ Jun 27 2022
Whatβs brown and rhymes with snoop?
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︎ Jul 18 2022
I heard Will Smithβs wife is about to divorce him
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︎ Apr 28 2022
Thatβs just Hawaii roll
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︎ May 07 2022
Whatβs on Chris Rockβs Face?
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︎ Mar 28 2022
Which of King Arthurβs knights was the heaviest drinker?
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︎ Jul 24 2022
I ate a kids meal at McDonaldβs todayβ¦
His mother seemed pretty upset
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︎ May 19 2022
Me: itβs really muggy outside
Wife: if I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn I want a divorce
Me: sips coffee from a bowl
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︎ Aug 03 2022
What do you call a virus thatβs also a successful social media personality?
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︎ Aug 03 2022
(My 6 year old just came up with this one). Whatβs a coconutβs favorite drink?
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︎ Jul 30 2022
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