What do pirates say to warn when the California Highway Patrol is approaching?
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Mar 05 2021
I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.
Except here, theyβre in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
ποΈ 12k
π
οΈ Aug 26 2019
Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor
This way the people can elect Ricity.
The campaign would be "Elect Rick".
ποΈ 28
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οΈ Aug 19 2020
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesnβt want you to see it.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Sep 22 2020
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said βKnown to cause cancer in the state of California.β
Good thing Iβm using it in Missouri.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 26 2020
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?
ποΈ 10
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οΈ May 09 2020
Which city in California has the most ghosts?
ποΈ 13
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οΈ May 08 2020
We drove to California and had a picnic on the beach. Had a great time, even though our waffles fell on the ground.
I'll always remember that sandy Eggo trip.
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Mar 13 2020
Welcome to the Hotel California...
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Oct 09 2019
You know, we only have Gandalf to thank for Hotel California
After all, he did bring us the Eagles
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Oct 24 2019
I have fond memories of riding the heaving waters of California upon our indentured help...
It was fun serfing the waves!
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jan 01 2020
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?
ποΈ 90
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οΈ Dec 28 2018
What do you call a California Highway Patrol Officer with a can of Skoal?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Oct 25 2019
ποΈ 424
π
οΈ Feb 01 2017
California now
ποΈ 28
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οΈ Dec 04 2018
what do you get when you throw an eggo waffle into the california desert?
ποΈ 287
π
οΈ Apr 17 2017
What do you call California cheese?
Second-dairy to Wisconsin!
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 22 2019
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?
At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Aug 28 2019
You say you're from California. Which part?
My whole body sir. Only my teeth are from Mexico.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Aug 22 2019
How to get to Whittier, California:
Exit freeway in Whitty and head east.
Follow signs.
Now if you get to Whittiest, you've gone too far.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ May 16 2019
I made a playlist for hiking. Included are songs from Peanuts, The Cranberries, Eminem, and even The California Raisins.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Aug 26 2019
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...
"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"
"The Quakers"
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jul 06 2019
If Southern California is called SoCal, why donβt we call Northern California...
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jul 05 2019
My 12 year old, after getting back from California:
12 y/o: we saw Will Smith at a coffee shop!
Me: Woah, thatβs awesome!
Her: guess what he was drinking
Me: what?
Her: French Press of Bel-Air!
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Mar 30 2019
What did the California roll say to the Spicy tuna roll when he first saw him?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Mar 24 2019
California has the highest number of men who feel depressed because of their wives cheating on them
It's a sad state of affairs
ποΈ 320
π
οΈ Feb 22 2017
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 13 2018
What does santa do when he's driving around the coast of california?
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Oct 03 2018
Somebody should make a racetrack like Californiaβs musical road and call it a soundtrack
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 20 2018
How exactly to you get from California to Hawaii?
By crossing the specific Ocean
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Oct 07 2017
I unexpectedly won an award while traveling the coastal cliffs of California.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jul 27 2018
Drove past a sign on the freeway that said, "Southern California Institute for the Deaf"...
...I heard that was a great school."
My wife groaned the rest of the drive to her parents house. Also, I'm not a dad but I think I'm ready.
ποΈ 15
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οΈ Mar 07 2017
Just used a paper straw at this restaurant in California.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Aug 05 2018
Living in California, people always remind me about our drought
I always tell them I'm well aware.
ποΈ 38
π
οΈ Mar 29 2016
My Brother just texted me saying he felt bad because his friends from California are saying he grew cold and distant.
Heβs currently getting a masters degree in Alaska
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Dec 07 2017
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Aug 26 2020
What do you call a waffle on a California Beach?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Mar 28 2020
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 04 2019
What do you call it when you eat a waffle on a beach in California?
ποΈ 24
π
οΈ Aug 20 2018
What do you call a waffle on a California beach
ποΈ 54
π
οΈ May 12 2018
Why should you not eat waffles on the beach in California?
Because you'll end up with a sandy eggo.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Dec 20 2018
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?
ποΈ 45
π
οΈ Jul 12 2017
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