What do pirates say to warn when the California Highway Patrol is approaching?

Chips Ahoy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Therapy_Gecko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.

Except here, they’re in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor

This way the people can elect Ricity.

The campaign would be "Elect Rick".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesn’t want you to see it.

[Removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eeik5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said β€˜Known to cause cancer in the state of California.’

Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethrymir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?

"Sacramentos."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Which city in California has the most ghosts?

Maliboo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We drove to California and had a picnic on the beach. Had a great time, even though our waffles fell on the ground.

I'll always remember that sandy Eggo trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to the Hotel California...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bawbnweeve
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
You know, we only have Gandalf to thank for Hotel California

After all, he did bring us the Eagles

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FirMage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I have fond memories of riding the heaving waters of California upon our indentured help...

It was fun serfing the waves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?

U.C.L.A.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a California Highway Patrol Officer with a can of Skoal?

CHIPS and dip πŸ™Œ

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiveNatty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I really like sending letters to my gf who lives in Southern California, but she hates my puns. i.reddituploads.com/befad…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeganJack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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California now
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BDNRZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
what do you get when you throw an eggo waffle into the california desert?

San Diego

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lininkasi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call California cheese?

Second-dairy to Wisconsin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allo_mate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?

At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
You say you're from California. Which part?

My whole body sir. Only my teeth are from Mexico.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How to get to Whittier, California:

Exit freeway in Whitty and head east.

Follow signs.

Now if you get to Whittiest, you've gone too far.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cssnow52
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a playlist for hiking. Included are songs from Peanuts, The Cranberries, Eminem, and even The California Raisins.

I call it my Trail Mix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...

"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"

"The Quakers"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If Southern California is called SoCal, why don’t we call Northern California...

Diet?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My 12 year old, after getting back from California:

12 y/o: we saw Will Smith at a coffee shop!

Me: Woah, that’s awesome!

Her: guess what he was drinking

Me: what?

Her: French Press of Bel-Air!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the California roll say to the Spicy tuna roll when he first saw him?

Wassa-bi?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brasbid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
California has the highest number of men who feel depressed because of their wives cheating on them

It's a sad state of affairs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LionKing34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
🚨︎ report
[actual headline] Proposal To Split State Will Be On Ballot In November: California? npr.org/2018/06/13/619525…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreetingsADM
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What does santa do when he's driving around the coast of california?

Santa cruz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vi3ual
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Somebody should make a racetrack like California’s musical road and call it a soundtrack
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCPPfanboi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How exactly to you get from California to Hawaii?

By crossing the specific Ocean

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I unexpectedly won an award while traveling the coastal cliffs of California.

It was a Big Sur prize.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coledot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Drove past a sign on the freeway that said, "Southern California Institute for the Deaf"...

...I heard that was a great school."

My wife groaned the rest of the drive to her parents house. Also, I'm not a dad but I think I'm ready.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacoboxsi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Just used a paper straw at this restaurant in California.

It really sucked.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Living in California, people always remind me about our drought

I always tell them I'm well aware.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thintoast
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
🚨︎ report
My Brother just texted me saying he felt bad because his friends from California are saying he grew cold and distant.

He’s currently getting a masters degree in Alaska

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeycamikey10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
🚨︎ report
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle on a California Beach?

A Sandy Eggo

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerdrinkerguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you eat a waffle on a beach in California?

A sandy Eggo

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xbrianspasmx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle on a California beach

A sandy eggo

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUprightBass
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why should you not eat waffles on the beach in California?

Because you'll end up with a sandy eggo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaucySpaghet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo...

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
🚨︎ report

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