What do pirates say to warn when the California Highway Patrol is approaching?
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︎ Mar 05 2021
I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.
Except here, theyβre in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor
This way the people can elect Ricity.
The campaign would be "Elect Rick".
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︎ Aug 19 2020
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesnβt want you to see it.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said βKnown to cause cancer in the state of California.β
Good thing Iβm using it in Missouri.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?
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︎ May 09 2020
Which city in California has the most ghosts?
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︎ May 08 2020
We drove to California and had a picnic on the beach. Had a great time, even though our waffles fell on the ground.
I'll always remember that sandy Eggo trip.
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︎ Mar 13 2020
Welcome to the Hotel California...
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︎ Oct 09 2019
You know, we only have Gandalf to thank for Hotel California
After all, he did bring us the Eagles
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︎ Oct 24 2019
I have fond memories of riding the heaving waters of California upon our indentured help...
It was fun serfing the waves!
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︎ Jan 01 2020
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?
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︎ Dec 28 2018
What do you call a California Highway Patrol Officer with a can of Skoal?
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︎ Oct 25 2019
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︎ Feb 01 2017
California now
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︎ Dec 04 2018
what do you get when you throw an eggo waffle into the california desert?
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︎ Apr 17 2017
What do you call California cheese?
Second-dairy to Wisconsin!
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︎ Sep 22 2019
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?
At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.
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︎ Aug 28 2019
You say you're from California. Which part?
My whole body sir. Only my teeth are from Mexico.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
How to get to Whittier, California:
Exit freeway in Whitty and head east.
Follow signs.
Now if you get to Whittiest, you've gone too far.
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︎ May 16 2019
I made a playlist for hiking. Included are songs from Peanuts, The Cranberries, Eminem, and even The California Raisins.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...
"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"
"The Quakers"
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︎ Jul 06 2019
If Southern California is called SoCal, why donβt we call Northern California...
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︎ Jul 05 2019
My 12 year old, after getting back from California:
12 y/o: we saw Will Smith at a coffee shop!
Me: Woah, thatβs awesome!
Her: guess what he was drinking
Me: what?
Her: French Press of Bel-Air!
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︎ Mar 30 2019
What did the California roll say to the Spicy tuna roll when he first saw him?
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︎ Mar 24 2019
California has the highest number of men who feel depressed because of their wives cheating on them
It's a sad state of affairs
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︎ Feb 22 2017
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︎ Jun 13 2018
What does santa do when he's driving around the coast of california?
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︎ Oct 03 2018
Somebody should make a racetrack like Californiaβs musical road and call it a soundtrack
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︎ Mar 20 2018
How exactly to you get from California to Hawaii?
By crossing the specific Ocean
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︎ Oct 07 2017
I unexpectedly won an award while traveling the coastal cliffs of California.
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︎ Jul 27 2018
Drove past a sign on the freeway that said, "Southern California Institute for the Deaf"...
...I heard that was a great school."
My wife groaned the rest of the drive to her parents house. Also, I'm not a dad but I think I'm ready.
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︎ Mar 07 2017
Just used a paper straw at this restaurant in California.
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︎ Aug 05 2018
Living in California, people always remind me about our drought
I always tell them I'm well aware.
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︎ Mar 29 2016
My Brother just texted me saying he felt bad because his friends from California are saying he grew cold and distant.
Heβs currently getting a masters degree in Alaska
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︎ Dec 07 2017
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
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︎ Aug 26 2020
What do you call a waffle on a California Beach?
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︎ Mar 28 2020
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?
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︎ Aug 04 2019
What do you call it when you eat a waffle on a beach in California?
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︎ Aug 20 2018
What do you call a waffle on a California beach
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︎ May 12 2018
Why should you not eat waffles on the beach in California?
Because you'll end up with a sandy eggo.
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︎ Dec 20 2018
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?
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︎ Jul 12 2017
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