I have a step ladder at home...

... I never knew my real ladder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dream_digital
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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What do you call a ladder that has a big penis?

Well rung

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDalekHater
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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How do you fall off of a twenty foot (about 6m) ladder without getting hurt?

Don't climb any higher than the first rung.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrakenJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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My Dad is addicted to ladders.

He keeps using them to get high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Dadjoked at an NHL game

My girlfriend and I are at an NHL game the other night and an add comes on the jumbotron for a ladder company, claiming to be the worldwide leader in ladders.

GF: "How does a company become the 'worldwide leader' of ladders?"

Random guy sitting beside us: "One step at a time"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondPeriodStout
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2015
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[Request] Need a good phone related pun!

A phone company that a family member works for asked their employees to come up with a pun. She's having trouble, so I told her I'd post here for some help.

She needs a pun relating to something like phone, 4g, call, or anything like that.

Example: Phone thugs-n-harmony

Show me what you got r/puns!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeafEnt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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If they gave me a choice between a cutting tool or a climbing tool

I would have to choose the latter

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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Fell off a 20 foot ladder today.

Luckily it was just the first rung.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bender10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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I've been having trouble climbing the corporate ladder

so I contacted my company's spokesperson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCat5001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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x-post from /r/talesfromretail. Customer was classic /r/dadjoke material.

I apologize for this wall of text, I didn't know where I should cut out parts because they're all relevant to the story. Sorry again.

Hey TFR people! So for background, I work at a kiosk in a mall where I repair cracked phones and do other mind numbing work that I can now probably do in my sleep. I've been doing this job for a little over two years and can fix an iPhone, for example, in about 15 minutes. I apologize for the wall of text. Anyway, this story happened last night.

So, a family of three walk up (mother, father and daughter) but only the father spoke to me and this is where conversation starts. Note: When I was handed this girls phone she had a case with this image on it and was already about to laugh. Customer will be C and I of course will be Me.

C: How much does it cost to fix my daughters phone and can it be fixed?

Me: Oh it's very repairable, after tax and labor, it comes to $xxx.xx.

C: Do it

Fuck, he's one of these guys...

Me: Alright then, I just need a name and signature on this disclaimer we have.

At this point, I've taken their phone and am prepping to work on it.

C: Do I have to use my real name?

PAUSE Now, over the 2+ years I've worked here, I have never heard this question. So I was kind of taken by surprise by it. For a minute, I thought he was one of those paranoid people. PLAY

Me: Um.. Well I guess you don't have to. It's preferred since we can look you up in our system faster later.

C: Oh ok.

I turn back around and start to use my tools on the phone when customer guy throws me another curve ball question.

C: Can my daughter still play the piano when this is done?

I manage to turn and see him smirking a little and go back to his serious poker face so I pick up that he's joking.

Me: Well I would hope so. Slight laughter

C: Oh ok great! She's never even touched one before so it's good to hear her skill won't change in the slightest.

I'm on the verge of outright laughing at this point. I manage to hold it back and finish my repair. I snap her grumpy cat case back on, hand her phone back when she mentions the home button isn't working.

Oh that's an easy fix

Me: Ah, don't worry. Give me one second and I'll have that fixed.

C: One. Try it now "Insert girls name"

Me: Haha well I haven't done what I need to yet.

I pull out a giant clear bag half full of spare parts.

**

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountBlah_Blah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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My teacher and class started groaning.

The bells were wrong because of testing and rung too early. My teacher replied "sit down the bells are off today" I said "No, they are clearly on!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiredian
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
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Thought I would share my first "dad joke" that I experienced at my new job

So tonight around closing time I was helping a middle aged man pick out a pair of jeans. I rung him up and told him the price, he looked at me and said "isn't everything half off today" and gave me this serious look. I let out a small fake laugh and said "No". He then laughed and said "I guess that one went right over your head!". I looked at him and let out another fake laugh. I had to resist telling him that I got the joke, but that it just wasn't funny...like at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclemeat9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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So I go to the grocery store to buy some beer...

Standing in line awaiting check out. As the person in front of me pays and walks off, it is now my turn to be rung up.

The cashier looks at my case of beer and says: "Do you have your ID?"

I say: "Yes"

long pause awkward stares

Cashier says: "Can I see it?"

I respond cordially: "Yes"

long pause even more awkward stares

eye rolls

Cashier finally gets it and says: "May I see your ID?"

I laugh and say: "Why of course you may see my ID"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_coletraine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
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Dropping dad jokes at the dadeli

Earlier today I accompanied my dad to the grocery store. Eventually, my dad made his way to the deli in the store and ordered two pounds of bologna. When he was rung up, his total was almost 3 dollars. I don't eat bologna, but I presumed that was high when my dad suddenly exclaimed, "That's a bunch of baloney!" and chuckled to himself. My conformist dad bought it anyways.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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Grandad returns, again...

I was going to visit my grandparents who are cooking for me tonight. As I was travelling there I noticed a new shop had opened and really wanted to check it out, so I rung up my grandad to ask him to prolong the cooking.

'Hi grandad, I'll be about ten minutes late so dont put anything on'

'Alright, ill stay naked!'

eurggg.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRagingMammoth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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Dadjoked my brother earlier

My brother rung my phone and asked if I could lend him my jumper cables.

naturally, I responded "NO! you'll start something!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seneekikaant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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I was a server at a restaurant...

...and it had a full bar. My table ordered a Mojito. I rung it up, bartender made it, and I gave it to the table. They didn't like it, said something was off (bartender got recipe wrong). I took it back to the bartender and said, can you remake this, they want Mojito not Lesshito!! God I hope I become a dad some day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinkleheimer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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This is my step ladder,

I never met my real ladder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirOnyxborn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I've only ever had a step ladder.

I never knew my real ladder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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