My Xbox Red-Ringed...he couldn't resist.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DasPossum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Ring...ring...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?

It was a force of hobbit.

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suffocatedwallaby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Rings some bells
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.

Only Tolkiens

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
"Mom, does Uranus have rings?"

Just his wedding band.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.

It was a near Mrs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leif_hans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
There are 3 rings in a failed marriage:

Engagement ring

Wedding ring

And suffering...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
So I lost my Mood Ring today...

I'm not so sure how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUltimaWerewolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my mood ring.

I don't know how to feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/westtxfun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of ringing.

He is in for a rude awakening.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when your ears are ringing?

You answer them

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EDP458
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the duck find it’s ring?

In the quackerjack box.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.

They’re calling it The Two Tires

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOM3426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings

That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed

My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy said he bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend that is too big.

"That's harsh," I told him, "I think she has a great body."

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, β€œWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”

The other replied, β€œTiiiiimmmber!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers

That must have been Mordor

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee...

It was atoll...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My son sees me rushing to pick up my ringing mobile in another room.

Son: "Mom, Dad's russian!!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mdchris19
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

πŸ‘︎ 990
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?

I bet Elijah wood know.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisprime1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditions it.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhena_lahrie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was waiting for my wife at the airport, when I saw that she was ringing me.

I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."

"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to β€œDon’t stop Believing”.

It was an unexpected Journey.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If you see this car, ring the police. It is stollen.
πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterEd_ak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What has wheels and prevents water rings

A roller coaster

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?

It specializes in ringing in the new ear!

Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
One Carrat Diamond Ring
πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emotional_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I invented a telephone that doesn't ring.

I got the No-bell prize for it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkyTheHatMan
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
"Do you know that movies about Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits where they try to destroy a ring?"

"You mean The Lord Of The Rings?"

"Yes, that's the one I'm Tolkien about."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call slobber on a ring finger?

Droolry

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m92186
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an art installation and performance art?

Crap on your neighbors doorstep then ring the doorbell - that's an art installation.

Ring the doorbell THEN crap on his doorstep - that's performance art.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my mood ring today.

I don't know I feel about it.

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone took away my mood ring

I don't know how I feel about it

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gladiator_12739
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I just lost my mood ring

I can’t tell you how I feel about it

πŸ‘︎ 385
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiggyLT
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody stole my mood ring...

I still don't know how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProGamer14719
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
For his upcoming birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that would swear at him instead of ringing.

He’s in for a rude awakening.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody stole my mood ring.

I just don't know how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Surabar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
i lost my mood ring this morning

i don’t really know how to feel about that

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickablash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Before you say yes to a proposal, there is one thing you have to consider

On one hand, you get a really nice ring, but on the other hand, you won't.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrYellowfield
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my mood ring

I dont know how i feel about that

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RVK_WAFFLE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.