I've been wearing this mask for so long, I wasn't sure I'd even be able to get rid of it.

But I pulled it off.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

They kept saying Bach, Bach.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the witch get rid of her new broom?

It was a bit thin and she couldn't get used to driving a stick.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm having trouble getting rid of my old magazines.

I have issues.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a scary icing that you can't get rid of?

A boo meringue!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chemist612
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I decided not to get rid of my tumor anymore

I dont know why, i guess it just grew on me

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0alB0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wanted to try and get rid of her love handles...

I said she'll look stupid without any ears πŸ‘‚

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?

Because every morning it wanted him to get woke

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/piccolorick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.

It’s a real head scratcher.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
So they're getting rid of the essay portion of the SAT

Just calling it the T exam now.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seancockery
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
After a few uses, I decided to get rid of my vacuum.

It sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?

Draw a hex-a-gon(e).

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why would Biden get rid of Trump's Muslim Travel Band ?

I didn't even get to hear them play live yet

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020

But next year will be 2022

(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Totorowl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Getting rid of an annoying crease on a piece of paper is pretty easy.

All you have to do is wait, eventually it’ll crease to exist!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordIggy88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway

I have it all thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/princess94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Who do you call when you want to get rid of wrinkles

Iron man

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
"What part of your body would you get rid of?"

"My spine. It holds me back."

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If you take a dozen cows and get rid of two you'll have nine

There would be 10 but they lacked 8

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I got rid of my son’s drum kit but he went behind my back and bought a new one.

There’s going to be serious repercussions.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to own a Subaru. I never should’ve gotten rid of it.

I left behind a Legacy.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asguardia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got rid of his vacuum cleaner?

It was just gathering dust.

Sorry. Won't do another vacuum joke. They suck.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
getting rid of this lifestyle bc out of date
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PFDRC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert?

I usually toast my sand Witches.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?

He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Help! I started arranging them by artist but that wasn’t right. Then by title, but that wasn’t right either. Nor by colour. Nor alphabetically by first track title. Finally, I arranged them by number of tracks, but I just couldn’t get them in the right order. So I got rid of them all. Do I have 0CD?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jjoojjoojj
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about getting rid of covid?

It’s a riot!

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
You could say, I’ve never gotten rid of my bad vices
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamingCannibal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of someone’s dirty thoughts?

By brainwashing them

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DillSoupYT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe my wife wanted me to get rid of my silt collection!

It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerilard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one body part it would be my spine

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of fleas?

Start from scratch...

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about getting rid of my spine

It's always holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.

I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I got rid of that hair lice I've been having for a couple weeks the other day.

That problem's finally out of my hair.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InfinateUniverse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?

They said that they are going to axe body spray.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend declared bankruptcy and disappeared to get rid of all his bills...

It was his un-due-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother wanted to stop getting his hair cut for 6 months, but now he doesn't want to get rid of his long hair anymore...

It really grew on him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoOfEmYesterday
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I got another wrist watch for my birthday, so I wanted to get rid of the old ones. Looking through how many I had

I decided to give them a new purpose and turn them into a nice belt. But it ended up being too short.

This whole project was a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zitter_Aalex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."

I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagsfreak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone was really excited when we got rid of the dynamite by burying it.

It was the bomb diggity.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What does an ant take to get rid of heartburn?

An antacid

I'm a single mom so I feel its ok for me to post this (and it made my daughter facepalm)

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/javalove1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...

I guess he’s just trying to shave face…

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one part of my body, I'd get rid of my spine.

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
"what part of your body would you get rid off?"

"My spine, It holds me back."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I finally got rid of my head lice

That problem's outta my hair

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InfinateUniverse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

All they could say was BACH!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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