Germany is now requiring people to stock up cheese and sausages due to COVID-19.
This is called the Wurst-Käse Scenario.
[Meta] the ancestry of this sub
these are all real. Some are made by me, some are not (ones with an "*" are mine.).
/r/NoPuns is a sub where posting puns will get you a ban.
/r/NoNoPuns is a sub for people banned from /r/NoPuns.
/r/NoNoNoPuns is a sub for people who weren't. *
/r/NoNoNoNoPuns is a sub where puns are mandatory.
/r/NoNoNoNoNoPuns is a sub where requiring puns is banned. *
A good pun is like a good cake: it has many layers. Subreddits are the same.
I asked my wife, “Did you know there’s a fruit that gives you your entire potassium requirement for the day?”
My wife: That’s bananas.
Me: I know, I couldn’t believe it either.
Becoming a sushi chef requires a lot of physics.
How else will you learn fission.
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
What city in the Middle East doesn't require you to wear a face mask?
My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
The password is password1. It requires letters AND numbers.
Buying a box of Duraflame logs always requires a little thought...
I have to decide if I have $20 to burn.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong
Are you required to wear a face mask and wear glasses?
You may be eligible for condensation.
Here, a license is required for a forklift
Guess I need to switch to chopsticks.
A King Fisher. More of a visual pun that requires knowledge on birds. Photoshopped myself
A good pun requires periodic timing
Mandatory temperature screening will be required for fans attending the Foreigner reunion concert.
If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see.
Son: By law, you are actually required to turn on your headlights if if is raining in Sweden
Dad: Okay, but how the hell do I know if it’s raining in Sweden?
My Vet said our puppy requires supervision at all times.
I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?
No one will ever make a successful video game about running a coffee shop.
Gamers would never put up with the amount of grinding required.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
A cable repairman was on our street today and asked what time it is.
I told him it's between 8am and 1pm.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
Modern problems require Indian solutions
What are the requirements to work in marine biology?
Your grades need to be above C-level
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
The World Health Organization has said that dogs cannot get COVID19, so they have said dogs are not required to be in quarantine.
So, WHO let the dogs out.
ENTER A NEW PASSWORD “chicken” THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A CAPITAL!!!
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
I was required to add flair to this, True story not a flairy tail
Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.
But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
My therapist just told me that I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings.
What did the aliens with some assembly required say?
When you're driving but can't see that well...
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?
He didn't want to foursome.
I tried to join a secret religious society, but the requirements were very strict.
It was called Diffi cult.
My job at the tea shop required 12 months of training
There’s a steep learning curve.
Why are law students required to take creative writing courses?
So they can administer poetic justice.
What's the difference between swine flu and avian influenza?
One requires oinkment, the other requires tweetment.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
