The Colonel of Truth
I call it the flip charts.
German Dad: "Nein."
Apparently it is private.
Corn, it's made up entirely of colonels.
His name is General Ledger.
The team’s power ranking will only get lower.
An infantry
Side note: I will be a first time father at the end of March. I am proud to join the dad joke ranks, my wife and son will learn to appreciate the content from this subreddit 😬
Just over easy.
That’s one of my best dad yolks. Thanks for coming by.
He was in the nighty-night percentile.
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
I would say urinate.
When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather
"vee haf vays of making you tock!"
Though I guess that's just a generalization.
But one of them is definitely Superior.
Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.
Him: "It's private."
Me: "No, it's okay, you can tell me."
If so, aren't higher ranked vampires technically Neck Romancers?
Kernel
It's a major faux paw.
He's criminally underrated to be honest.
Canada should be high in your list of priorities.
A czardine
To get higher, you'll have to be boulder.
For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time
or
In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.
I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...
My 4 year old daughter walked up to me and said "I'm thirsty". Without a second thought I replied "Hi Thirsty, I'm daddy".
He quickly achieved the rank of “treem ”, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamer’s family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.
This weeks top headline read, “ex-treem dissed appointment”.
I said "Specific."
Many eyes were rolled.
Well, two. Two eyes were rolled.
Children of the "Quarn"
Edit: at the age of 13, we shall bestow upon them the rank of "Quaran-teen"
So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.
Distant uncle: "It has been a long time, you must have grown a foot since I saw you last"
Me: No, I still only have two.
We live in a building with 2 levels of underground parking.
"I like parking on the first floor because the second floor is beneath me."
Dad: Don't answer it. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
I bet the highest ranking military official is a kernel.
Because it runs in jeans
Ok now that all the r/PunPatrol people are gone I am willing to be a spy for your organization. I have currently achieved the rank of supreme admiral punsniffer and have solid evidence on r/PunPatrol's next targets.
Higher ranking members of the Bloods held 9% of the coins that had been mined up to 2014. They suddenly and abruptly destroyed the wallets that contained the bitcoins in late 2014.
It wasn’t discovered until 2017 when a former member spoke to the press when the prices spiked. When asked the reason for destroying the fortune he said “cause it’s a Crip-tocurrency”
In the late '60s the government was developing ARPANET and the developers were trying to find a way for users on the system to communicate with each other.
The scientists involved came up with an electronic messaging system that they called the Tickle.
Tickles could be used to send important code updates, meeting invitations, or even just little jokes all along the network.
The DOD heard about these Tickles and asked for a briefing to determine their military potential. At a high-level meeting of generals and admirals, the lead developer presented the Tickle concept.
The ranking General asked for a demonstration and the lead scientist said "Sure, I'll send you a test Tickle."
And that's how E-mail was born.
An ancient Babylonian general was once involved in a plot to overthrow the king. His plot included a number of followers in the upper ranks of the army. However, his plot was uncovered, and the king threw him in jail. The king sentenced him to death without a trial.
However, from the jail he was able to secretly contact his followers to arrange to escape, meet his followers, and attack the king's palace at night. So the night before his scheduled execution, the general managed to escape from prison. He fled to a ziggurat several kilometers away, where his followers would meet him. However, the ziggurat was one of several in the area, and he wasn't sure if his cohorts would find the right ziggurat. By this time it was twilight, so he lit a small fire and sent smoke signals to indicate in which structure he was hiding.
However, the king's loyal soldiers saw the smoke coming from the ziggurat, and came to arrest him before he could meet his followers. He was executed later that day.
The moral of the story? WARNING: The searching general has determined that smoking ziggurats can be extremely hazardous to your stealth.
There is a world where everyone is a cheerio and there are 4 main ranks. There is the plain cheerio then the chocolate cheerio then then the rainbow cheerio and then finally King cheerio himself. In this world there is a man called Steve, Steve was a plain cheerio working at a Mc. donalds. He found working there very boring, so he saved up enough money to get a surgery to become a chocolate cheerio. And so he got the surgery and now he was able to be manager at the Mc. Donalds he was working at. However he still didn't feel as if this was enough so he saved up enough money to get another surgery to become a rainbow cheerio. Now that he was a rainbow cheerio he owned Mc. Donalds itself. As a celebration king cheerio hosted a party at his mansion for Steve's new job. During the party Steve got a chance to speak with the King and he asked him how it was to be a the king, but the king replied that it was extremely exhausting to be the king. So Steve decided that he didn't want to be king. After his conversation he felt thirst so headed over to the drinks building. On the first floor he new he could get bear which he wanted, but as he arrived he noticed that the line was too big. So Steve went up to the next floor where there was wine, but again the line was too big. On the third floor there was Coke, but just like the other floors the line was too big. He also new that on the 5th floor there was milk which was his favourite. So he thought that might as well skip the 4th floor to get milk. But he changed his mind has he walked by the 4th floor as he saw the sign that they where serving punch and as he realised there wasn't any punchline.
