She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
..do you just get exhausted ?
Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)
Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.
Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?
Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??
Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!
I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.
Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.
He seams legit.
I guess the punch line was too long.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark
It’s mostly remote work.
So a Ute pulls into work with a massive turkey on the back in a cage. When the driver steps out to make their purchase I say: “I don’t know what you’re feeding that dog but he looks terrible!”
She didn’t even give me a courtesy laugh.
Just thinking about it gives me chills.
I’m surprised at how far I’ve come.
...well, actually, the full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.
I guess she wears the pants in the relationship.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
Jack and the beans talk
Tomb Raidy
They have their own scales
SO here I go again on my own
It's always jammin', mahn.
This is the last straw.
But he was 0K.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
Because all you get is the Anne Aesthetic
It’s got it’s ups and downs
You could say he stahl
but now I’m in the lapse of luxury
A heroine addict
Absolutely nothing.
... im still working on it
But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.
Well, she actually said, "You're pretty annoying", but I choose to focus on the positive things.
The last straw.
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
