Starts of reasonably...then it's all downhill from there

http://imgur.com/a/GHvbO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amani121
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite

That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NAtionalniHIlist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....

Total ovary action.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.

Locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iacon225
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.

It was a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensiform
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water.

Number 1 and number 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Did you hear the one about a guy who threw a pork dumpling at his friend for no reason?

It was a wanton wonton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?

A loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland

but its a big plus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathisfakenews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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The reason there is so few organ donors is

it takes guts.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.

First one that comes to mind....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoeoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.

But they are a major second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I've always hated Santa for some reason...

Doctor finally diagnosed me with Claustrophobia,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.

His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...

I mean, what’s their porpoise?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...

is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Why did the one FBI agent say to the other?

>!This post has been removed for security reasons!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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For some reason I always get sick during holidays.

I must have a weekend immune system...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAZUAG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why could no one understand the trains reasoning.

It had locomotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathdlr34
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Cross post for obvious reasons... /r/Jokes/comments/jfm40r/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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There were a lot of dead ants in my drink for some reasons

So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshmello100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Beer time

I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berryville_con
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?

Marriage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterKayfabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namean_jellybean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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And you can guess the reason why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Credit: u/derpytomato05 from r/funny(couldn't xpost for some reason)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.

I just can’t put my finger on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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I hate arguing against circular reasoning

It's pointless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeddrex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Reason why you should take up marathon training

It will help you in the long run.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding

But i’m dad serious

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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here’s the reason for internet censorship

[deleted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamyule
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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There are 3 main reasons I procrastinate.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostPin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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The only reason I make puns is actually not a reason. Because it's actually a readaughter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water

Number one, and number two

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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