My Spanish friend was awfully surly today...
But then things started looking up, so he became nortely.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
What do you call an awfully over-cooked hunk of meat?
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︎ Mar 28 2018
The waves were awfully angry at the beach today
They hit their breaking point
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︎ Jul 18 2016
[Request] Need a terrible terrible just god awful pun
My girlfriend bet me I couldn't find a pun so bad that she'd tell me to shut up and fuck off and die. Naturally I want to prove her wrong. Any and all help is appreciated
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Can't berr this awful pun
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︎ Jan 22 2018
Complimented a friend on her musical knowledge today...
Me:
> I don't know how you find the time to listen to so many bands.
She replied:
> Yeah, I just have a lot of bandwidth.
Normally, I'm the one with the awful puns. I paused, saw her grin, and had to high five her.
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︎ Feb 09 2015
Iβve got this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says itβs terminal.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, Iβm sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Ngl, itβs kinda hard sometimes to have a penis
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Awful dad jokes and puns...
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︎ Jan 05 2021
did nt have enough karma for okbr so it goes here (that's why its just awful)
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I tried street tacos for the first time and man they were awful
They tasted like asphalt!
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︎ Oct 10 2020
"Dad I'm hungry!"
"Hi hungry, I'm-"
son shoots him in the heart before he can finish the awful line
with his dying breath "Hi hungry, I'm dead!"
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︎ May 10 2021
Youβre Awful
As in you fill me with awe
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︎ Oct 12 2020
My love for my wife is like the national debt.
It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
The guy running my town is awful. He doesnβt respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.
Heβs a total night mayor.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
What do you get when you combine an awful hair style and a singer?
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I went to the record store and bought a new album. It was awful...
I tried to get a refund. But I couldn't get my NickleBack.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I own the world worst theasaurous. Not only is it awful...
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︎ May 06 2020
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︎ May 27 2020
Where my marine biologists at?
2 dolphins are swimming in the ocean. First dolphin says, "hey remember the other day when you had those cinnamon tictacs? Those were delicious. Can I get one?" Second dolphin says, "Aw man, I would but I lost them. We should totally look for them." First dolphin says, "I echo your cinnamints"
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What did the oyster cleaner say when his colleagues threw him a party?
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Awful taste but great Exeggutor (Execution)
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︎ Jan 07 2019
My pet crow is awful at poker...
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︎ Jun 06 2020
My dog was acting a bit angry since I took him to the vets and get him neutered
But Iβm not worried, since he doesnβt have the balls to do anything
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Not all Math puns are awful.
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︎ Sep 17 2019
Driving down the road, listening to Disney songs. I look in my rear view mirror. My two-year-old is grooving. I ask her, "Aw, are you dancing?" And she replies,
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Guys, I know why 2020 been so awful.
If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?
He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Teacher: Use the word βintermittentβ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I have this idea for a takeaway restaurant which just sells dairy
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Aw this a while back and thought Iβd recreate it
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︎ Jul 19 2018
Stop making awful new years jokes
Seriously, I've heard them for the entire decade so far.
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︎ Jan 02 2020
I'm still torturing my daughter with awful jokes
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 04 2016
Iβve got this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says itβs terminal
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
I think it may be terminal
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π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it terminal
π︎ 363
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I have this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says itβs terminal.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it's terminal.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Aug 21 2019
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
my doctor says it's terminal
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
The doctor says it's terminal
π︎ 9k
π
︎ May 13 2019
I have an awful illness where I canβt stop telling airport jokes...
... My doctor says itβs terminal.
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︎ Jun 25 2019
[At the restaurant] Her: This isnβt working out between us. For starters, Iβm sick of your awful jokes.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
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︎ Oct 26 2019
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