There's no atmosphere.
I got a bogie up my nose. It wheely hurt.
Arrrrrrrrthritis.
Catchy song. Dreadful relationship advice.
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
Then it grew on me. finger guns
I'm dreading it
He dreads locking it.
No one will be crossing the finish line
and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."
It's the hardest one to pass.
The bear asks the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit...
But after years of therapy, I've managed to conker it.
I was the only one there in sandals and a bathrobe
I’m already dreading it.
It was dreadful.
They dread lox.
So basically I own a Bookshop and I'm wanting to have a Book joke board, so please send me your jokes that I can write on it (credit will be given, needs to be family friendly)
I have cinnamon dread
I'm dreading it
Poor Red,
Poor Red whines,
Pour red wine,
Pour red wine to mend Red's mind.
Mind the wine that ends Red's whine.
Find the time to send more wine.
For poor Red's whine, we pour more wine.
We dread the time when poor Red whines.
I’m dreading it.
We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.
I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.
This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.
Because eclipse.
It’s dreadful
Talking about the expensive healthcare
Dad "you need to change your major to become a doctor".
Me "I don't have the patience for that".
Dad "you would if you became a doctor".
Facepalm.
Dad: Yikes, so now I understand your ... aroma. Can you resume washing your hair at least?
16-year old Daughter: I can't. I'm dreading my hair.
Dad: That makes two of us!
And every year I've dreaded it.
Tom Braidy! I'm sorry, that was dreadful.
I'm dreading it.
Dreadful.
It goes where no man has gone before in search of the dreaded Klingons
...my hair is now dreadful.
I dadjoked my friend today.
I'm introducing her to the show "Penny Dreadful". I told her that the show is really great except for the name, which in my opinion, was horribly cheap.
shit eating grin ensues
New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"
I'm already dreading it.
This is the dreaded Many Paws stage
As a matter of fact, I’m dreading it.
The waiter walks over and gives him a glass of water.
The man, being dreadfully thirsty, drinks it all in one gulp. He them calls out to the waiter for another
"Excuse me for the trouble, but I'm terribly thirsty. Could I have another glass of water?"
The waiter returns and refills his glass. He turns away to serve another table, when a small cough comes from behind him.
"I'm so awfully sorry, but could I get another refill?"
The waiter of course obliges, and turns to wait the next table, when the same thing happens again.
Frustrated by the man, the waiter walks up and tells him
"Take a pitcher, it will last longer."
Drawing professor: You know, it's Jamaican hairstyle day on Friday. Us: What? What is that? Professor: I don't know, but I dread it.
I'm still cracking up.
And I’m already dreading it.
I'm dreading it…
I'm dreading it
