My water heater is very unpleasant to work with and never appreciates me.

It's a thankless heater.

👍︎ 6
📅︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy just flew straight at my ultralight in his jet and gave me an unpleasant look...

He Lear-ed at me.

👍︎ 3
📅︎ May 22 2020
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My friend had an unpleasant experience with the suicide hotline

They both hung up that day

👍︎ 21
👤︎ u/rebelz3r0
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife demanded i stop singing that Oasis song.

I said, "Hey now!"

👍︎ 12
👤︎ u/Ganders81
📅︎ Feb 26 2017
🚨︎ report
The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:


  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes


  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes


  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 9
👤︎ u/Skormes
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A king had a problem with a serial killer chicken...

He placed 30 silver coins as a bounty, and was peeved after a month had passed and nobody had taken the offer. He inquired to his squire, who responded that nobody would undergo such an unpleasant pheasant hunt for such a poultry sum.

👍︎ 40
👤︎ u/KetoSaiba
📅︎ Jun 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Egg on the pan, egg on the plate

I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.

Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."

Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."

👍︎ 20
👤︎ u/Fudgebert
📅︎ Oct 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my husband at the movie theater

Me: Did you put butter on the popcorn?

Him: Yeah, I must have been pouring butter for a solid minute.

Me: Thank god it wasn't a gaseous minute!

Him: That would have been very unpleasant for the people around me.

We make a good team :)

👍︎ 29
📅︎ May 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my SO while waiting for takeout.

We're sitting near the entrance of the restaurant when another couple walks in and gets seated. They didn't close the door all the way, and an unpleasant breeze started rolling in. My SO got up and closed the door. As he does down, we have this exchange:

>Me: Thanks, I appreciate it.

>SO: Yeah, nobody likes a draft.

>Me: Well, nobody except the general.

He got silent and I could see the pain in his features.

👍︎ 6
👤︎ u/eccitaze
📅︎ Nov 02 2014
🚨︎ report

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