A list of puns related to "Awful Christmas"
I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:
Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"
Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"
I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).
(On getting a good book for Christmas from my Grandma) > Me: "Aw thanks Grandma I'll read that with delight" >> Dad: "Who's Delight?"
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Setting: Watching my father struggle with his skiing gear as I met him on the mountain for some Christmas runs.
Me- sarcastically Dad, You are so strong.
Father- Aw, honey, thank you! But smell isn't everything.
~~
I've heard this one many times, but not for a few years. Forgot it's awesomeness. Merry Christmas to Dads and their jokes and the kids who repeatedly hear them.
I'm a pianist in a jazz band. Today, our drummer was running late. A bit into the rehearsal, he runs in and the band stops playing.
Drummer: sorry I'm late... what are we playing? Leader: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Drummer: well, that's an awfully nice thing for you to say to someone who just showed up late to your rehearsal, thanks!
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