What sex position makes the ugliest babies?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao
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︎ Nov 30 2020
What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?
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︎ Jul 06 2020
If Father Christmas played soccer, what position would he play ?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 01 2020
If Karen had a job, what would her position be?
Head of the chain of demand.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What religious positions are open for women?
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 17 2020
My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...
...She went from studying faults to double-faults.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β69 Mating Positionsβ.
Turns out itβs about Chess strategies.
π︎ 18
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︎ Aug 30 2020
If Frodo was the President of the Fellowship, what position would Gandalf have?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I just got a senior management position at Old McDonaldβs farm
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
π︎ 61
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︎ Apr 12 2020
I have two jokes, one on momentum and another on the position of a particle.
but I can tell only one of them
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Recently, I've resigned from my position as a tunnel drill operator.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I have a fear of being under something dirty but no one gets my position.
No one ever under stained...
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 18 2020
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 18 2020
What do you call a pastry that announces its own position on a subject?
π︎ 8
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︎ May 17 2020
βDad, when you were in college, what was your position on marijuana?β
Dad: Slumped in a beanbag chair, mostly.
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 24 2020
My position at work was eliminated and is now being done by a robot.
I guess you could say that Iβm jobsolete.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 26 2020
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening heβs absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend βWhy I have to change my position every time?β
He replies βI know, this sub is full of repostsβ
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︎ Aug 10 2019
Posted pic of my dog in weird position and got this.
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 28 2019
My buddy Jesus got promoted to a supervisory position and I got to choose the music for his promotion party.
I went with "Your Own Personnel Jesus"
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 17 2020
Is it the position of the full stop or going to prison is better than marriage?
π︎ 81
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︎ Apr 17 2019
Iβve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke Iβve ever made.
π︎ 38
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︎ Apr 03 2019
People are starting to get angry, thereβs too many who want my position, too many after my seat.
I think I better leave the toilet now.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Doggie style is a position
π︎ 36
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︎ Jan 19 2019
Why do Mexican men get better positions out of college?
Because they can apply for seΓ±or positions
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 22 2019
Whatβs Pinocchioβs favorite position?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 21 2019
I know a guy who sells chairs designed for use in waiting rooms. He has a very high-level position.
He's the chair man of the bored.
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︎ Oct 03 2017
The knight had many standing positions for masturbating to chose from
Depending on the circumstances
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 08 2019
Why do they call it the cowgirl position?
Isn't it kind of rude to call her a cow?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 30 2019
If x = the main character of a story, how do you determine the position of x?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 15 2019
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. βQuit hurting your mother.β I said β Youβre grounded!β
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︎ Dec 15 2018
A recruitment agency phoned me up. 'Can you tell me what your ideal position is?' asked the woman, very politely.
Apparently, 'legs up on the sofa' wasn't the answer she was looking for.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 13 2018
Did you hear that Notre Dame is adding a new position to its football team?
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 08 2018
A knight that's specializes in sexual positions.
π︎ 116
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︎ Aug 15 2014
I asked my wife to try a new sex position but she refused
I guess you canβt teach an old pawg new tricks
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 18 2018
Why did the dermatologist lose his position at the hospital?
He made too many rash decisions.
π︎ 27
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︎ Apr 03 2018
The coach asked his quarterback to consider switching positions after an interception
He said βIβll passβ
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 07 2018
A bearded man applied to a position that required him to be clean shaven.
At the job interview, the manager of the company greeted the applicant and upon noticing his facial hair, promptly asked the man how attached he was to the beard.
The man, tugging on his facial hair, replied βvery.β
π︎ 3
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︎ May 26 2018
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