The art of policing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7L2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffualo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2008
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What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.

The police is working tirelessly to catch him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buffunder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/srivapal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states

Gas, liquid, and solid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.

They had nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualEyez33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night

Cops have nothing to go on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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If police pull over a U-Haul van

did they bust a move?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas_m15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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So the police locked up a toddler the other day

Turns out he was resisting a rest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bowlingForRamen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Why did the police officer arrest a duck?

The duck was selling quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfman29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Hey Sir, police jokes aren’t funny!

So give it arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Police were called to the local grocery store today

A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A giant fly has attacked the local police...

Police have called SWAT team.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!

Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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St Helens elephants: Doorstep mystery leaves police dumbo-founded bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arazilla96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Police stations dog squad got robbed today.

Police officials don’t have any leads at this time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viglek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.

He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Police were questioning an egg

He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did police charge spice rack with?

A salt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitanPhoebs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Why is β€œbeefstew” an unsafe password to use?

Because it’s not Stroganoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peytonmi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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A man asks a police officer if it’s a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes

Officer: β€œYes, that’s assault!”

Man: β€œI know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trace826621
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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There's a term for people like Trump

Evidently not two though

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meemsouprice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows

I told them i was resisting a rest.

Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese_Boi20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?

An undercover cop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I tried to join the psychic police force

But I failed the vision test

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...

did he just bust a move?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.

Cops have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Something I wonder about vegetarian police

Do you think they still go on stakeouts?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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The police officer made me pay up for my crime.

Meh, that's fine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timfreemints
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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A man has been stealing police car tires

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailumair90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1Pootato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Someone stole the tires off a police car

They’re working tirelessly to catch them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerryattrix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap

They charged him with resisting a rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Man seen stealing police car wheels.

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station

Investigators have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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