When do you think humanity peaked?

Well, after we invented the wheel, it was all downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My life peaked when I finally climbed Mt. Everest

But it's all been downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepy_Titan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I peaked, and there were so few witnesses.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongShaynx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
This sign peaked my interest. imgur.com/xVZBTOY
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I have peaked Dad Jokeness

[Just some context]

Like my father, I sneeze loudly. I sneeze so loudly in fact, while walking my dog this morning, my wife heard me sneeze from 200m away, in our apartment.

When I got home my wife greeted me, "Hello, Sneezer."

I replied, devastated, "Et tu Brute?"

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3hN1nj4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve peaked.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/War_King_123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
It's only 5am and I am done with the internet for the day. I've peaked.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I've peaked. I'll never say something this perfect again.

Celebrating my brother's birthday with a pizza party. Jokes were already starting about how much pizza I had eaten that night when my dad decided to change the subject and share a story about how he learned to speak Portuguese. Then I said, "I'm fluent in morepizzaplease."

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I peaked at 6

We were at church one sunday when someone spilled tea all over my new button down shirt. I immediately asked "What do you think this is, a T-Shirt"?

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mck111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
🚨︎ report
the very peak of my existence about 6 months ago today
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GetNaeNaed06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
β€œSo what’s it like living in the mountains?”

It’s got it’s ups and downs

πŸ‘︎ 298
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im-Not-dead-yet1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A bunch of guys decided to build a cocktail lounge on top of Pike’s Peak.

It didn’t do as well as hoped. Maybe they set the bar too high.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mallthus2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Child walks past the parents bedroom, peaks inside and mumbles....

"And you want to send me to a psychologist for sucking my thumb."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peak-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter had a horrible peak-a-boo accident

Now she’s in the ICU

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Hill areas
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The *peak* of puns ;)
πŸ‘︎ 318
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
This mountain just installed a new CPU and processor into his pc.

It's now running on peak performance

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDumbyMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do mountains make good comedians?

Because they're hill areas...

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Peak humor is upon us
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LincolnBio_
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw this in r/jokes, figured this was peak fatherhood /r/Jokes/comments/ht335z/…
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceo_greasyduck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak!

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DANGEL_DANGEL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
This is my peak I will never come up with a better pun
πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamza91001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I M LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get peak activity?

Climb a mountain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The actual peak of humanity
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beijial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The peak moment of high school

This actually happened, probably close to 20 years ago now. In my high school chemistry class, the teacher asked if anyone knew what nitrates were.

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"I don't know," I replied, "but I bet they are better than day rates."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaryuSaryu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Husband was in peak dad form today: What do you call a mathematician magician?

Criss Angle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BruhNana13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Because... because a mountain... has... has a.. has a peak
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavyJones333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the peeping tom climb mountains?

Because he always peaked.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitch_watson
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The Mongolian army was unstoppable at its peak.

They were always one steppe ahead of their enemies.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...

"...mountains peak!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the smartest peak one can summit?

Mount Cleverest

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve reached peak Dad!

Went to the outdoor ice rink yesterday with my wife and son. Ran into our friend Rosy and her kids who were just leaving. Rosy said they had fun but were cold now so had to leave. I responded β€œyea you look cold. Your cheeks are...........rosy” cue my wife’s loud groan.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deep_6d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Just received Twin Peaks and the "missing pieces"
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meemboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do you take someone after a peak-a-boo accident?

The ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Antonioooooo0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The mountains aren't just funny, they're

Hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krishi2202
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funny…"

…they're hill areas."

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ifruitninja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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