As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
My friend told me their new job pays $300k, before taxes.
I said, "that's just gross.."
Local pasta maker has hired me as a consultant but they can’t pay me!
We have an arrangement though. Penne for my thoughts.
How much did the squirrel pay for the car?
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
If you don't pay your exorcist....
When I was a poor, struggling actor, I had to take a job getting spanked in a BDSM film just to pay the rent...
...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.
It was the darkest day of my life.
How does a skeleton pay for items?
Why does U2 never have to pay any of their laywers?
Because they are all Pro Bono.
How much do pirates pay for corn?
My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...
Somebody stole my Microsoft office and they're going to pay.
Have you heard about the Grizzly zoo that couldn't afford to pay the keepers?
It's pretty bear bones, now.
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.
It was my climb-it change.
How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
I need to pay for my horse's accommodation.
A woman walks into a music shop and finds an album for 95 cents and pays for it with a dollar
What happened when Santa didn't pay to park his sleigh?
How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?
Tell em’ to keep the tip.
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
What happened when the girl didn’t pay her exorcist
What do you call a noodle you pay for sex?
I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent
And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit £10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
“Like £10 notes” I told him
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
I have just found the Catholic version of pay per view.
Did you know that in some countries, mathematicians are forced to pay fines for being unlawful to Jesus?
Yeah, it’s called a Sin-tax.
Did you hear about the pay as you go toilet in space?
The price was gastronomical!
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.
They’re free range archers now.
Pay attention in class kids
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house!
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
For my next car, I’m going to buy a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing.
It’s on the house.
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