Why don’t palm trees ever get lonely?

Because they have lots of fronds.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a9lex
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Palm Tree

https://preview.redd.it/2064s3fpggx51.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb5e2075e112029edf1e41435a6fda0631f30c81

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vividlad69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealAasimAli
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JHawkBoomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree?

A facepalm.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaffynitionMaker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It's a palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 199
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NemesisCR
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexy_lorax
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a neon palm tree light and I want to name it.

I want a punny name for it that makes people cringe. As of right now it’s Arnold Palmer... please give me more suggestions πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whymsie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
This Palm Tree
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuB2PewDIep1e
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eitanwass
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I planted a palm tree outside my house

Now I have something to give me a hand around the house.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree.?

HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS THIS IS NO ORDINARY BLOW JOB.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FUNNNYJoke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Got a new palm tree tattoo guys 🌴
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sockmonst3r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you know a palm tree is lonely?

It has no fronds.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FriskySour
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
my dad: look! a palm tree!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a palm tree fakes it's death?

Insurance frond

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisfch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
This palm tree on the subway was really creepy and inapproriate

It keep trying to frondle everyone

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faceoftheancients
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2016
🚨︎ report
From r/blackpeopletwitter
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elcour
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree thats made out of hands?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Porterhouse_27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna grow my own fingers.

By planting palm trees.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/33billings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My husband still loves me...even after one of my worst ones...

We were driving to a friend's house for "game day". We live in Phoenix...we have flora that doesn't like living..because..it is Phoenix.As we were driving, we passed a huge palm tree on its last root (leg) of life in the median of the road. It is literally being held up by a few 2x4's. I look at my husband with the saddest look I can muster before I say "Babe, did you see that poor palm?". Husband says, "Oh yea, that big, dead-looking ones with the boards?". I respond, "Yea, sweetie, we should say a prayer. The poor thing is on LEAF support". He was not amused...I, however, giggle every other Saturday when we pass the tree to game day. Also, please don't worry about the tree. Now that Phoenix has made it through a hot summer, I bet after winter it will just spring back to life...assuming it doesn't fall. Lastly, sorry I'm not a dad or no actually dad said it...but I was channeling that inner dad when it happened! If I need to move this post it is okay!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sh2nn0n
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
🚨︎ report
A Little Tree Humor

Walking with the wife this morning and saw someone quickly walking away from a front yard with his hood up and carrying a young palm tree. It was about 4 ft tall with its leaves and branches well over the guy's head. Palm trees can be expensive, so we thought this guy was stealing it. The wife said, "huh, that's a little suspicious." I corrected her: "yeah, that guy looked a little shady." Now I walk alone.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Surf_Ninja_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Internet dating is weird...

I saw a palm tree on a dating site. "Not looking for anything serious. Just FRONDS with benefits..."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grandpathundercat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Where oranges come from

me: These oranges don't have seeds, wonder how they reproduce.

wife: Well, when one orange likes another orange they go on a date.

me: Wait, what does a palm tree have to do with oranges?

She looked at me blankly for about 5 seconds, then shook her head.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Face_Plont
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
🚨︎ report
I was watching How It's Made with my Dad when...

they were making rubber on the show. He said "I really wonder how rubber trees have survived evolution! It's gotta be really hard to procreate!"

Commence face-palming.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MorningKnight
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Got on on the wife this morning doing yard work

Was trimming a palm tree this morning and a piece came flying down at my wife and she said did you see how close that got to me, I turned at her from my perched position on the ladder with a huge smile and replied 'oh I saw' as I brandished my rusty saw, quite proudly.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theedeacon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
🚨︎ report
So, I made my co-worker walk out the room.

Today at work, my co-worker and I are decorating the group home we are working in for Christmas. As she finishes decorating the tree, she asks;

Her: The tree looks nice. I don't want to put the rest of the ornaments on it though, cause it'll look clutter. What should we do?

Me: Well... we can always deck the halls?

Followed by lots of laughing while she face palmed and walked out the room.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mythical_Lies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A Palm Tree

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree fingers grow on?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AttemptsMade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What tree is the handiest?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A Palm Tree

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree made out of hands?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Porterhouse_27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a small tree that you can hold?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of trees do fingers grow on?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordVendredi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree you can hold in your hand?

A Palm Tree

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xxpoods123xX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

...a PALM tree!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/designmark80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree do fingers grow on?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JG_melon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree do fingers grow on?

A palm tree

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mork202
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.