They were a little shy for my liking
Is a trope-ical plant.
They call me The Bounty Hunter.
You wave at him
4, you just never asked...
It's a tough nut to crack.
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
A pina Collide-a
It was due to the bounty on his head
He said he doesn’t know ‘cos he had never smoked coconut matting.
I brought some the other day but I don't have any coconuts.
...because it feels like there's a BOUNTY on my head.
He’s a palm reader.
It was a little chewie.
#MayThe4th dad jokes
A mathemachicken
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
Medications
So I gave him a coconut.
A Swallow.
A slice of coconut cream pie in Barbados is $2.50 A slice of coconut cream pie in Trinidad & Tobago is $2.75 And a slice of coconut cream pie in St. Thomas is $3.25
These are the pie rates of the carribean
So I threw a coconut at him.
Bananarchy.
and got hit with a coconut.
It’s enough to make a mango crazy.
So I threw a coconut at his face.
Finding half a worm in your apple.
A man gets a new job at the zoo.
On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.
"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"
The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.
After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.
Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, until one day he's on his monkey bars and getting really into it, but he slips and flies through the air, over the pit, clears the fence and lands in a pile of bushes in the next enclosure.
He is just beginning to pick himself up, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the foliage.
A pair of eyes lock with his.
It moves closer.
He knows this is it.
He begins to pray.
Suddenly the creature leaps and tackles him - the biggest, ugliest lion he's ever seen!
It leans in close.
He can see every gleaming tooth in it's mouth
He can smell the lion's breath
It opens it's mouth
And from inside the lion he hears a whisper.
"Make this good or we'll both lose our jobs."
The coconut
I said "But it's essential."
I'm not sure where else to post this but I hope this is the right place.
A close girl friend of mine is a fine artist that specializes in greeting cards with funny/cute puns/lines on the front and since I am moving away in December I wanted to create a Christmas or Thank You card one for her. Some examples are Bonne Fett (with a picture of Boba Fett holding balloons, and You R2 Cute (with a picture of R2D2 and a heart). Essentially she does a lot of cultural references that can be put onto a greeting card.
The two things she loves in this world are Egg McMuffins and Chinese Coconut buns. Could I get some help coming up with a Christmas/Thank you Puns using one of those ideas I can put on a card?
Thanks so much!
The husband suggests a type of juice and coconut rum. "Do you think that would be good?" she asked. "I do", he replied. "It's worth a shot!", she concluded.
Parents were about to leave Hawaii after a vacation. My dad texted me if I wanted a coconut, so I answered "sure, why not?"
"Then go to Schnuck's [local grocery chain], they're a lot cheaper there."
Thanks, dad
Walking past a stall at the fair, points to the coconut shy and said
"I know a guy that won't go to them"
Said "What because he was shy?"
"No he had no confidence"
Groans.
HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS THIS IS NO ORDINARY BLOW JOB.
A Pina Collida
