Suture self.
It was two tired.
My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:
"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk. It's only at one percent!"
I say it so often now that my kids stopped eating cereal, and have pretty much cut dairy from their diets.
Because it was two-tired.
Classic
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
Because it is two tired
It's more revved up
I guess you could say I have Pac-men-tality...... This is bad
Because they're two-tired.
"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.
But I NEVER let them put anything at the bottom of the page.
That's where I draw the line.
Out for dinner at a nice restaurant with wife and two teenage kids, we all order dessert, wife got blueberry creme brulee, I got baked alaska with rum flambe. Waitstaff knew it was my birthday so they put a candle on my baked alaska. Problem was, the rum flambe melted the candle. It was pretty funny, so wife took pics with her iPhone. As she was reviewing her pics, she dropped her phone in her creme brulee. I said, "I thought you ordered blueberry creme brulee, not Apple creme brulee..."
That was when I got the best birthday present: three hearty groans from the whole family.
Going to grab a fork out of the drawer, she says "the dish washer is clean." So I asked her if she took a shower, about .90 silent seconds go by, then she laughs and finally says "I get it"
Selfish Schtick.
Friend: Text me when you have time.
Me: When you have time.
Friend: ...
I told him the price had lowered.
He said, "Great! I've been waiting for Up to go down." He then proceeded to laugh.
How can you do math with your teeth?
When you go to the dentist and he gives you a shot some of your teeth will be numb and others will be number!
[this is the best wording I could come up with]
Because it is two-tired.
Suture self.
They’re two tired
It was two tired.
It's two-tired.
Because it was two tired.
Because it is two tired
It's two tired.
.......... Because it's two tired lol
