Why can a bicycle stand on its own?

It's two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punvirus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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I'm building my own guitar, but every time I look at the wood I've bought for it, I get overwhelmed by anxiety about how it will turn out.

I shouldn't have started with the fretboard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Why did the spider just mind it's own business making a web?

To make sure I wasn't being bugged

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What do you call it when an inmate takes his own mugshot?

As cell-phie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 80k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.

I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

πŸ‘︎ 802
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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U/JBJorr said this in a comment but I thought it deserved its own post β€œ I pulled a small prank on the elevator

But it escalated quickly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jcham28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Someone pointed out my own comment I didn't get it at first.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/budsofbasil420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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My invention was amazing! After many many attempts, I finally got a two-wheeled vehicle to stand on its own!

I guess tri, tri again is the way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I invented the cure for Covid, it's made of my own breed of coffee.

I call it the Mcafee antivirus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aglaz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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How many cats does a IT person own?

5 or 6

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bogmired
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What is it called when a bug ends its own life?

Insecticide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/passionate_apathy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I used to own a Subaru. I never should’ve gotten rid of it.

I left behind a Legacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asguardia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Do you know why Aldi’s doesn’t sell its own brand of nuts?

Because it’s would be called Aldi’s Nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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What do you call a pansexual who makes fun of his own sexual orientation and enjoys it?

A punsexual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/This-Is-De-Wae
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I went out the garden this afternoon and got sunburnt. It was my own fault...

I was basking for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board

Whoops, wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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It's been a lifelong dream of mine to live in a house with my own clone. But the science has just come out that most people would hate dealing with someone identical to them.

I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I own the world worst theasaurous. Not only is it awful...

But it's awful

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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.

It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I made my own elevator but it makes me mad when people select a floor.

That really pushes my buttons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrielc0208
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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It is a grave mistake to go to your own funeral.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adragontype
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it β€œResponsibly.”

Advertising slogan will be a doddle: β€œPlease drink Responsibly.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Why can't bicycles stand on its own?

It's "two" tired 😴

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donghoon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I just had to cut my own hair and I'm not really happy with it...

But it's growing on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superscoops
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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A girl I’m dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I don’t think it’s going to work out.

She’s too kneady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I cut my own hair for the first time the other day. At first, I thought I did a poor job of it...

...but it's really starting to grow on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?

Because it is two-tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCrunchyToast2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own?

Because it was two-tired.

Classic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoistBands
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?

I do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peanut_Butt3r675
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Chaos, subterfuge, and conflict ensued as a giant primate chased everyone off the pier, declaring it his own and invoking his title.

Gorilla wharf heir.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Did you hear about that new broom that stands on its own?

It’s sweeping the nation

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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My bike won't stand on it's own.

It's two tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karl_oskar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?

It was two tired.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Why can’t a bike stand on its own?

It’s two tired

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilkeNL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 354 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hercules_ZH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?

It was two tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/politicalmonster1
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Why couldn't the bike stand on its own?

Because it was two tired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lexy-J0y25
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Why can’t the bike stand on its own?

Because it was two-tired

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TipsymanTransit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

It's two-tired.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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