Daughter : Whats Nana's middle name?
Me: the same as mommies, I think
Daughter: her middle name is just i think?
I'm so proud. Sorry if I don't know how to format, I tried.
As if i care who that Guy F××××s.
Sir Prise
So, in true dad spirit, I asked my daughter if she'd heard about the man raised by horses.
After I delivered the "difficult childhood, but a stable environment" punchline, she groaned and said, "I thought you were going to say he was your neigh-bour."
She learns fast.
If you don't know the movie, there's a scene where the main character (R) is attempting to drive a car and he's starting and stopping because he can't control his limbs fully.
So my dad just quietly goes. "Makes sense, he's got bad motor control."
We were discussing what kind of fruit we would be, if we were a fruit.
I said out loud: "If I were a fruit, what would I be?"
From the kitchen came: "A homosexual."
I was disappointed as usual that Liam Neeson's character was killed.
She suggested I let Qui-gons be Qui-gons.
Yesterday I was trying to explain the birthday paradox to my dad, which states that in a group of 23 people, there's a 50% chance of two of them having the same birthday.
Me: "the reason why two people probably have the same birthday is really complicated math."
Dad: "I already know why."
Me: "oh? Why?"
Dad: "because they were born on the same day."
Me: "I keep getting calls from a guy asking for Ron."
Mum: "He must have the Ron number."
My sister and I share an office working in the family business. This morning she turned to me and said, "Did you hear that Wisconsin got a new slogan for their license plates?"
"They did?" I say, as I immediately bring up Google and start looking up Wisconsin license plates.
"Yeah," She says with a grin. "It's 'Come smell our dairy air.'"
This was followed by lots of laughing and immediately calling family to share this new, glorious joke.
Why can't you trust Elsa with your balloon?
Because she'll let it go.
I couldn't be more proud. She's going to make a great dad someday.
Driving in the car with Dad, talking about whats going on in work just now. I had a bit of a bitch and moan about someone getting promoted who didn't deserve it.
Me: Hes horrible at his Job! i can believe he is getting a bigger Role!
Dad:Like a Baguette?
Me: (light chuckle) i forgot who i was speeking too
As we were heading to bed, my girlfriend said:
Her: "I need to tell you something"
Me: "Hmm?"
Her: "Something"
Simple, but made me chuckle. :)
The guy who sits next to me in calc was staring intently at his lemonade bottle and he says, "This says it's not from concentrate. We'll see how long that lasts."
This literally happened this morning, and my dad got me good. I called him up on my way to work and I asked him, "Hey good morning, how did you sleep?" And then he said, "with my eyes closed..." -_-
My dad was watering a few young fig trees and wondered why some of them weren't growing as fast. I responded with, "I guess it's something you really should FIGure out." A chuckle was had by my dad, which is all that counted.
Leaving a family dinner with Dad.
"Are you sure you're going? The night is still young".
"Must have been a Squire".
My sister was complaining that all she could buy for underwear was ugly ones because she has wide hips even though the rest of her is skinny. I wasn't really paying attention and said "aw yeah..that's a bummer."
She looked at me like "oh haha very funny." I was confused for a half a second until I thought about what I had just said.
My kids were at my parents house swimming and my dad said "Son, your kids are good swimmers." And I replied, "Yep. That's how they got here."
Me: I think [brother] needs to get away from electronics a little bit more.
Dad: He doesn't want to leave electronics. He's building an electronic girlfriend... She's a little short wired though.
[ome and a half second pause]
We both burst out laughing [4]
I'm a server at a small breakfast diner, and yesterday while bussing my table I noticed an elderly man talking to himself. I said "You know, they say talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence!" and gave a smile. Without hesitation he says "It'll be the last intelligent conversation I have all day." Doesn't even laugh or look up from his plate. I had to go to the kitchen and laugh for the next few minutes before I could continue working.
So i was cycling around the garden with no shoes, i went ouch at one point because the pedals dug into my foot.
My nephew goes: "Why did you go ouch?"
Me: "Because bike pedals were not really designed to be used with bare feet"
Brother: "No, they were designed for human feet"
I cracked up laughing, everyone else just groaned.
