Mīmāṃsā Puns

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

#Major Sects of Hinduism

So funny story I misread someone's comment on this sub and thought they asked what the sects of Hinduism where. I planned on a short explainer but it got kinda big, so I figured I might post it here as a stand alone post

Ok so this is actually a surprisingly complicated question because there isn't a super clear answer of what a "sect" is. Hinduism doesn't have clear defined splits ala Christianity or Islam. There was no conflict between the pope and the emperor or dispute over the succession of the caliph to create schisms like that

So I'll talk about a couple of different splits within Hinduism

##The Old "Schools" of Hinduism

Not super relevant for modern day but interesting nonetheless

If you do a little digging, you will see that Wikipedia has Hinduism split up into 6 major "schools". To be clear, this was mainly a thing for philosopher priests to debate a few thousand years ago and no one really identifies as any of these since the Vedanta school has won out, though people will still pull things from other schools when convenient (see: yoga)

1. Samkhya – An strongly dualist theoretical exposition of consciousness and matter. Agnostic with respect to God or the gods.

2. Yoga – A monotheistic school which emerged from Sankhya and emphasizes practical use of Sankhya theory: meditation, contemplation and liberation.

3. Nyāya or logic – The school of epistemology which explores sources of knowledge.

4. Vaiśeṣika – An empiricist school of atomism.

5. Mīmāṃsā – An anti-ascetic and anti-mysticist school of orthopraxy. This school deals with the correct interpretation of the verses in Vedas.

6. Vedanta - Basically the school that makes up 99% of mainstream Hinduism today. Actually the philosophical

##The Splits Within Vedanta

Aka the philosophical splits people actually care about

So Vedanta "won" and became the mainstream current of Hinduism, however soon philosophical disputes occurred within Vedanta about the nature of the universe, the soul and God.

The philosophical positions resulting from this schism include

1. Dvaita - The idea that God and the soul are separate from each other and the soul is dependent upon God and inferior to him. Also a fun fact, the founder of the Dvaita school of Hinduism had some beliefs which made him really whacky within Hinduism that also makes his school the most Abrahamic-like one in Hinduism, namely he believed in an eternal heaven and hell

2. Vishishtadvaita -

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

There hasn't been a post all year!