40s Puns

Wednesday, May 26 - Tuesday, June 01

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And I'm not saying that people in their 40+ are old either

I’m in my 40s, and I am the only man in the office. It’s an overall nice environment that’s focused on the work at hand.

I’m 5’ 10”, and weigh about 165. I work out regularly and keep in shape. Overall I’m just pretty average.

However, I’ve had co-workers say to me that I was “so skinny” or that I was cold because “I don’t have any meat on my bones”, or at the worst “you’re just a little guy!”

I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, or have anyone be called out (it’s a small office).

What’s the best way to approach this? As a woman, would you be upset and think I’m being overly sensitive?

A little background for you all. I’m in my late 40’s and love console video games. I feel like games keep my mind sharp and young. And I really enjoy playing with different ages of players in the community!

I’ve been playing games since the Atari 2600 days. I’ve been playing Destiny since the D1 beta. WARLOCK FOR LIFE!!! Played it non-stop through the beginning of D2. Took a break to dabble in Fortnite, and then one of my buddies brought me back to it a few months ago. And I’ve been all-in again. All on PS5 and controller (never tried M&K and I like relaxing and playing on the couch on my big TV!).

Before my D2 break, I attempted and ultimately succeeded in going solo flawless Pit. In fact, I enjoyed that dungeon so much (I think because it truly felt like a dungeon and gave me some D&D vibes for some reason) I went solo flawless 3 times. It was, at the time, the hardest thing I’ve ever completed in my video game lifespan.

I also ran Prophecy with my buddies and tried a few times to solo it, but it just seemed way too difficult. Incredibly difficult. So I passed.

When I returned recently to Destiny, I started falling into the YouTube blackhole of videos of gamers posting their flawless runs. And I began to get the itch to try Prophecy.

So I “studied”. I watched countless videos of solo Prophecy runs. Successful and not. Different classes. Different weapons. Different strats for each encounter. Etc. And ultimately I went Solo. Got the ghost. And said I could never go flawless. Just seemed way over my skill level.

But then one of my buddies told me, “If you can solo Prophecy, you can also go solo flawless. You just need to put the perfect run together.”

So I “studied” again. Found the strat that worked for me. I failed what seems like hundreds of times. But I kept the mind set of each death was a lesson for my next run. “Ok I died, now why did I die and how can I prevent that from happens if again”.

And after what seems like hundreds of tries, last night I finally went Solo Flawless Prophecy! My wife was sitting next to me during my run. When I beat the final boss, I jumped up off the couch like I was a kid again and screamed. I literally screamed. And my wife, who does not play games but is a huge supporter of my gaming passion, turned to me after my run and said, “That looked pretty easy”. And it was right there that I realized all my practice and research paid off.

So I want to sincerely thank everybody in this forum for

My clubbing days are now over. Where's good to buy bedroom slippers?

I’m 42F. I went through a traumatic breakup at the beginning of Covid and used the time to focus on myself and learn from the failed relationship. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to date for a long time. I’ve been back on Hinge and Bumble and I find it so much harder to match with people, let alone go on dates. I signed up for Premium on Bumble and I don’t even get likes! Or the few likes I get are from people I’m not interested in. I’m pretty, look much younger than my age, I’m accomplished, my age range is 35-48 so I don’t know what the problem is. I kinda wonder if this is it with OLD for me. Anyone can relate?

I have realized that as a white-collar professional I am still basically skilled labor, and if I lose my job in the decade leading up to retirement age then I might have problems obtaining another position due to ageism discrimination at work. I know it's not legal, but it exists.

I would like to learn from older individuals what steps they are taking to make sure that can retain their existing position or be able to get a new job without too much hassle.

The title kind of says it all. I'm looking for a book (preferably nonfiction but if a fiction book comes to mind... please feel free to recommend) where a person hits about the 30-40 ages and doesn't really have much. He or she realizes that he or she is very alone in this world... and they have to make it themselves. Overcoming things like depression and anxiety would be a +1. I'm not really looking for a book about overcoming alcohol or drug addiction, overcoming those things is wonderful but it's not relatable to my current plot in life. If the character has experienced a family members death... that'd be another +1. As I lost my mom a little over a year ago. I'm just looking for inspirational books where a person hits middle age, doesn't have much, life has beat him or her up over the years but through hard work, perseverance and a lotta luck... they make it... happily ever after. What book pops into your mind?

Thank you =].

Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" comment =]. So many wonderful suggestions that I'm so excited to look into. Thank You all for taking the time to write in suggestions!

So I started riding around the age of 12. Was a cat 3 or 4 until I was 19 and a cat 1 two years later. I was decent enough that if I showed up to a pro 1,2 race with over 100 guys I expected to get a top 10 or 15. Rode with Axel Merckx and Chris Horner chasing after Floyd Landis when he was on a tt bike riding for Mercury. I hate long write ups so I will try and keep this short. So here is some advice for younger riders and whoever if you are serious and want to be faster.

I never did intervals until I was 20. Didn't know how, grew up in a very small town and the guys I rode with didn't do them or never taught me about them. So get a coach and train correctly. I improved so much with a coach.

Don't spend money to save weight. My coach asked me how much I'd spend to save 1lb on my bike. My reply was nothing. Told him I'd skip some meals first. Eddie B once told me that the fat on my upper arms should be like the fat on the back of my hand. It wasn't. Also, if you are just racing mostly the crit scene having a slightly lighter bike won't matter nearly as much as having a coach. Not even close. I've had guys who wait over 240lbs on $10,000 aero road bikes ask me how to get faster. Really?

Along the weight topic, if you aren't getting atleast 8 hours of sleep a night you are wasting your money to save ounces. Get a coach.

Learn how to race by watching the best guys. I finally learned how to really race crits by watching the fastest guys. One day I decided that I was going to stay as close to the best guy all race. I think we sat about 15th or so the whole race. He won. I didn't. But I learned a lot.

If you really want to race train in all types of weather. I remember meeting a friend in Cali for a ride when it was around 55 and rainy out. The guys at the bike shop said it was trainer weather. If you want to race you will have to race in the rain I loved it. If it was raining at a race I figured half the guys were out of the race mentally before it even started. Out of the rest maybe half knew how to race in the rain. That was great odds for me to get a good result. And, training in bad weather used to be so pro before zwift. I did 6 hours and got caught in some snow once. Thought I was really hard-core until I saw an Amish girl riding home. If she can do it in her Amish clothing you can do it.

Have fun. I met a kid once who was training at the Olympic Training center who was riding 1000km a week as a junior. He burnt out just like most other juniors

i have 2000 shares at 19.29 and feeling the pain deeply

👍

M41 here, married (happily) with two kids. And one friend. Just one. I’m lonely and not just missing a social life: I’m wondering what’s actually wrong with me that only one person ever wants to spend time with me.

Thing is I’ve tried putting myself out there, joining local sports clubs and volunteering. All the clubs have had established smaller groups in them that don’t seem to want new people. It’s clear you need to go every week to be accepted on anything other than a superficial level. I can’t always make this commitment (because: kids, parents etc.). So I’ve never gotten beyond the “hi, how are you?”, with club nights ending with others making plans for the weekend that don’t involve me, and talking about WhatsApp groups I’ve not been invited to.

It’s come to a head recently because friends of ours of 20 years - who are basically family and around whom our social life revolved - have dropped us like a stone. They have new friends now so we get ghosted, with texts and phone calls going unanswered so I’m giving up. With other friendships having ended because people moved away, and others with kids’ parents from school having fizzled out, that’s why I’m down to only one real friend (who happens to be a legend).

I’m a nice person: funny, kind, generous, with a lot to give and a need to be around people. Somehow that hasn’t naturally translated into having many friends.

So, given that I’ve tried clubs and volunteering already, what’s your advice for making new friends in my 40s?

I absolutely love books that take place in the past but written in modern times. These seem to give a stronger sense of nostalgia for the time, since they point out things that define the era (jukebox, hot rod etc.)

So far, 11/22/63 by Stephen King and Replay by Ken Grimwood were awesome portrayals of the past. But other than these, I haven't found too many other books that really transport me to the past.

Really open to any genre, too. Thanks!

Edit: thanks for all the suggestions so far guys, I really appreciate it! I’m trying to narrow down what to start reading tonight, but please, keep them coming!

Well I'd rather be young and enjoy my youth😂 Also, kids don't just magically disappear when they turn 18 lmao

My weeks can be so intense it would be nice to find a place where I can enjoy a drink and a friendly vibe. Still newish to SD. Any recs? I’m not into dive bars. Laid back elegance preferred.

I’m double vaxxed and boosted.

I'm a dad who is just turning 40. I'm 170 lbs, reasonably fit but definitely starting to feel old. For example, hip bump sweeps seem like a million miles away.

I'm a purple belt who mostly plays gi, so I can rely on my old-man strength and I rarely get too gassed while rolling, because I'm good enough to go at my own pace against most people.

I've recently started to get into more no-gi and I really enjoy it. I imagine it would probably be helpful to get some proper wrestling takedowns under my belt.

My school has a wrestling class that happens at the same time as open mat. But it's full of 24-year-old hot shots with, like, visible muscles, and no kids, and aggression, and no kids.

Has anyone here gone from "ooof, sweeps seem far away today" to "I'm going to hit a blast-double on a young kid" in their 40s?

Would love some advice from the music makers…

I am in my 40s, typical suburban husband and father with a good job and comfortable life. Back in high school, music was such a huge passion. I wasn’t any kind of amazing talent but I would write songs and play the piano, jamming with my friends and even doing high school jazz band. I was the “piano man” whenever there was a group singing at a party.

Life intervened… career, kids, mortgage, etc. Music took a back seat.

Now I desperately want to reignite my passion, but I have no idea how. Of course I can take up lessons again, but for me, music was always a group activity - that’s where the joy in it came from. But where does a middle aged man find that?

Would love any thoughts and ideas. Thank you!

EDIT: Thank you for all this amazing advice! So many tips and ideas and resources. I’m truly inspired!! Thrilled to have found this community and I hope to contribute as I get going!

Not just the thought, but happy with the gift itself?

This was a while ago but I think we were having a conversation about birth control. It was revealed that he believes that almost all women, once they reach a certain age, HAVE to have their uterus completely removed, and furthermore cannot really continue to be sexually active. When I tried to gently correct him he kind of dodged the topic and had sort of a "yeah, if you say so, but I'm pretty sure I'm right" agree to disagree attitude about it.

To this day, I'm like 99% sure he was under the impression that this is what the definition of mesopause is.

I was taken aback because (at the time) I thought he was at least moderately well informed about women's health but he also was also a member of the my-penis-reaches-through-your-cervix-into your-womb school of thought so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

Just booked mine for tomorrow afternoon, early 30s in the Midlands, 20ish weeks since second dose. Multiple friends(late 20s to mid 30s) in different towns/cities have just tried and booked in for tomorrow or early next week. This is the national booking service not any gp service. Appears to be loads of appointments currently available. EDIT: had mine today, no issues, just needed the booking number, in and out in 20 mins or so

I think I’m done, my body doesn’t seem to recover well anymore and I keep picking up little injuries. I haven’t trained in quite some time due to lockdowns here in Bangkok, I was considering going back but after thinking about it, I think it’s over for me 😂 Anyone else experienced poor recovery and injuries in the same age bracket as me?

Greetings, all. My dad's 81st bday is on the horizon, and for the last 20, I have been trying to make him a cake that stands up to the memory of a simple one his mom used to make... I've gotten pretty close with the yellow sheet cake, but I can't seem to get the frosting right (none of his siblings have a recipe). I had it when I was a kid and from what I remember it was a light brown chocolate, and the frosting would develop a sort of thin brittle exterior over a day or two. I'm thinking a traditional American buttercream, but with a weird wartime "fat" of some kind. Anyone have any ideas? TIA!

ETA: Thanks kindly, everyone, for your most helpful input. I'm going with a buttercream and subbing a portion of butter for either shortening or margarine. Hopefully I will achieve a reasonable facsimile of this fabled cake... :)

I was recently watching "The Mask" and it got me thinking about this trend I never really thought about. The movie takes place in the 1990s, but the main nightclub in the movie is this throwback 1950s big band music place. It's so weird that this otherwise modern setting has this cartoony 1950s setting for the club. It got me thinking that this was kind of a trend for 90s movies. They'd be set in the 90s, but they would have weird tinges of 50s culture. Like a bar would be playing jazz and crooner music, or the bullies in the movie are all letterman jacket guys or biker guys with Harleys, etc.

Can anyone else think of any movies with scenes or settings like this where it's modern but there is this weird part of it that is stuck in the 50s?