If you have a child by surrogate, does that make you an early adopter?

Literally a dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adjoro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Fathers actually never joke about adoption tho
πŸ‘︎ 550
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oakvard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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I adopted my dog from a blacksmith

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Son : "Dad, am I adopted?"

Dad : "NO!! Why the hell would I chose you?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Dad: "You were ado...."

Daughter: "I was adopted?"

Dad: "You were adorable as a baby!"

Daughter: "Oh!!"

Dad: "That's why we adopted you. "

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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You seen the ad campaign trying to get people to adopt dachshunds?

β€œGet a long, little doggy.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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I found out the local priest adopted a dog.

He called it Ma.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I asked my dad if I was adopted

He said β€˜not yet’.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoseAVF
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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True story: many years ago I adopted a new dog. Took him to his first visit to the vet.

The lady at the vet: β€œwhat’s his name?”

Me: β€œThe shelter told me his name is Toby”

Her: β€œWell, what does he think his name is?”

Me: β€œ........ Kunte Kinte”

She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggie

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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When I was 15 my parents told me I was adopted.

And that I'd be meeting my new parents that afternoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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A detective couple adopts a teenager who turns out to be a pyromaniac.

After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground. "What do you think caused this?" One asked the other. The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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You’re adopted

Knock Knock...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtasada
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Childbirth is hereditary.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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My dad adopted a puppy today and wants to name him β€˜Stay’...

That way he can spend all day saying β€œCome, Stay”, β€œGo, Stay”, β€œFetch, Stay” and β€œStay, Stay”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Is it the time to adopt glass coffins?

remains to be seen!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malhosainy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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If a male owl's sibling adopts a baboon,

then owl be a monkey's uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iceman838
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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My initiation into r/dadjokes

Girlfriend: β€œbabe, I’m pregnant”

Me trying to not lose it: β€œHi, pregnant, I’m dad”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meme_Lover6969
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What is an appropriate age to tell my highway it's adopted?

I feel like the 66 route is a little late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWhenWrong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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My friend got a job repairing ladders

He's working his way to the top...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I often wish I'd been adopted by gay parents.

So I could have twice as many dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What did the skeleton say to his wife when he wanted to adopt a child?

I have some bones to pick with you.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomage007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Never adopt a dog from a blacksmith.

We did, and within an hour he'd made a bolt for the door

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baconlessness
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I was shocked when my brother told me he adopted a baboon!

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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My wife and I are considering adoption.

We just need to figure out where to sign our kids up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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My farmer friend is moving, so he had to give up his horses for adoption.

They are now being raised in a stable environment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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If someone adopted a feral cat and named it Will, it would be Will Feral
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicyundertones
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Why do Chinese couples adopt caucasian children?

Because two Wongs don’t make a White

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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A friend of mine asked me to adopt some baby cows, and I agreed.

What can I say, I’m always willing to raise the steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DifferentNoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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There is a couple, that always waits in front of orphanages before they open.

They're better known as the early adopters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starfoolGER
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Figured out I was adopted the other day. Decided to confront my dad about it.

I told him "Dad, I found the paperwork. I know"

Dad said "What paperwork? What did you find?"

"I'm adopted"

He replied "Hi adopted! I'm- oh, wait. Nevermind."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTeeBee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I adopted a goat for my son called Roxanne.

"I wish you'd called me something else," he often says.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I asked my parents if I was adopted?

They said β€œhell no, why would we pick you”?

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-TheDarkSmile-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I adopted a dog that used to belong to a blacksmith.

First thing he did when I got him home was make a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeroAgency
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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I adopted my dog from a blacksmith.

As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wintermoon01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

Someone told him to β€œget along little doggie”

πŸ‘︎ 805
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptLeelooSattler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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When I was 15, my parents told me that I was adopted....

......And I'd be meeting my new parents that afternoon.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I adopted a dog that was owned by a blacksmith.

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perigeesus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I adopted a dog from a Blacksmith...

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I just adopted a dog from a blacksmith.

As soon as we got him home, he made a bolt for the door

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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What did the skeleton say to his wife when he wanted to adopt a child?

I've got some bones to pick with you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomage007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why'd the cowboy adopt a daschund?

To get a long little doggie.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhioTry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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