My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
If you commit 90 sins, you will only get caught half the time.
Have you heard about the typist from the 90's?
She misspelled millennium and spaced out
If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,
Ever hear the tale about the angle less than 90 degrees?
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration...
and 40% willingness to cheat.
I always liked those spice girls back in the 90s. What were their names again?
10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 walked into a bar
90 percent of my jokes don't land...
90% of my jokes end with an autoerect
My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...
...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.
Only 90s kids will remember
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
What’s a ‘90s computer’s favorite kind of Japanese food?
Back in the 90s, i spent time on the set of Baywatch messing with a character named Mitch Buchannon. I got pulled off the set and arrested the same night.
Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.
My wife asked me to introduce our kids to the 90s rock I grew up on.
I told her sure but some of it is Garbage.
In an attempt to teach him shapes, I told my 2-year-old son to pick out the 3-sided shape with a 90 degree angle. He picked one...
It was the right triangle.
My son drew a polygon with three edges and three vertices with angles less than 90°...
It was acute triangle, I must admit!
My girlfriend and I just realised we’re into the same 90’s pop bands
What did Pac-Man use to listen to music in the 90s?
The 90s summed up !
90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99 =945 !!!!!
Ba dum tss!!!
If 90° says anything in argument with the other angles, it's always correct.
Cuz it's the only right angle.
i was piloting a drone and had it going east. so i turned it 90°...
it all went south from there!
'Right Place, Wrong Tim' - starring Asa Butterfield, in a pun filled, horror comedy set in a 90s clock shop
youtube.com/watch?v=f-jsf…
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless.
The 90s summed up in one picture
90s Eurodance group Technotronic recently bought a factory that manufactures all types of fruit preserves
However, there was an issue with getting the preserves into the packaging phase as the manufacturing plant was downstairs and the bottling machinery was upstairs.
After carefully reviewing the process, the group settled on a solution.
They decided to Pump Up The Jam.
Radish means slightly Awesome in 90’s vernacular
In the 90s my father worked at the Snapple factory and got paid to count all the bottles.
He was a real teetotaler.
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90°
Don't argue with a 90-degree triangle.
I’m afraid to leave the coordinates 90.0000°N, 135.0000°W and 90.0000°S, 45.0000°E.
I was diagnosed with bye-polar disorder
I can prove to you why old '90s cellphones had more durable screens than today's smartphones
It's an open and shut case
I drew a 90° angle perfectly yesterday.
Looks like I finally did something right.
What musical formula was used to describe global warming in the '90s?
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
There are a bunch of blankets playing 90s music
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.
Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.
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