Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?

It would've created a parrot-ox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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From my offspring. What is the difference between a dad and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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What do you a call the offspring of a horse and cow?

How?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urfrucked
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?

Because they're lion cheetahs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dawg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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What do you call the offspring of a baseball player?

(Say it slowly) A son of a Pitch-er

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arboleda180
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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What do you call the male offspring of a number of baked goods?

Sons of batches

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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What do you call the offspring of a tire inflator?

Pump kin.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rarehighfives
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
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What did the buffalo say to his male offspring?

Bison

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrofreeze33
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I believe that a chicken's offspring created the universe.

I'm eggnostic.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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What did the API engineer name his offspring?

JSON

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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When the Offspring play live they all perform on a partitioned stage...

Cause, "You gotta keep 'em separated!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterManiacal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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The other day I caught my friend talking shit about The Offspring

So I hit him right between the eyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanoat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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What do you call the offspring of two of the same yeast cultures?

Inbread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T0BBER
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Why did the wheat's offspring come out retarded?

Because they were inbread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JWooferZ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2015
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Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said

"Ketchup"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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What is a child’s favorite rock band?

The Offspring

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWMINPUBG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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The doctor diagnosed me with a very rare disease.

Apparently, my male offspring won't be able to drive but would rather stop the car whenever he sees an empty space.

I've got parking son disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...

...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.

Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.

"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"

"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bittibitti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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What do you call an arabic prince who's a Dire Straits fan?

the sultans offspring

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/St_Addi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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My dad and I were talking about 'being cool', and then...

'Hey, /thechristy, what's this key go to?' 'The front door. You should take it. I already have one' 'Nah. I don't think I will. It's just too door-key for me.'

I face-palmed. And cue the satisfied grin of father who dad-joked his offspring. Again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theChristy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
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