Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?

It would've created a parrot-ox.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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From my offspring. What is the difference between a dad and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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What do you a call the offspring of a horse and cow?

How?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/urfrucked
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2020
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Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?

Because they're lion cheetahs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b-dawg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2020
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What do you call the offspring of a baseball player?

(Say it slowly) A son of a Pitch-er

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/arboleda180
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2019
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What do you call the male offspring of a number of baked goods?

Sons of batches

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2018
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What do you call the offspring of a tire inflator?

Pump kin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rarehighfives
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2017
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What did the buffalo say to his male offspring?

Bison

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pyrofreeze33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2019
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I believe that a chicken's offspring created the universe.

I'm eggnostic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2019
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What did the API engineer name his offspring?

JSON

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buttengine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2019
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When the Offspring play live they all perform on a partitioned stage...

Cause, "You gotta keep 'em separated!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MasterManiacal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2018
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The other day I caught my friend talking shit about The Offspring

So I hit him right between the eyes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanoat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2018
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What do you call the offspring of two of the same yeast cultures?

Inbread.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/T0BBER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2018
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Why did the wheat's offspring come out retarded?

Because they were inbread.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 103
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JWooferZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2015
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Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said

"Ketchup"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maccer20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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What is a child’s favorite rock band?

The Offspring

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AWMINPUBG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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The doctor diagnosed me with a very rare disease.

Apparently, my male offspring won't be able to drive but would rather stop the car whenever he sees an empty space.

I've got parking son disease.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2019
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The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...

...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.

Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.

"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"

"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bittibitti
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2018
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What do you call an arabic prince who's a Dire Straits fan?

the sultans offspring

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/St_Addi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
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My dad and I were talking about 'being cool', and then...

'Hey, /thechristy, what's this key go to?' 'The front door. You should take it. I already have one' 'Nah. I don't think I will. It's just too door-key for me.'

I face-palmed. And cue the satisfied grin of father who dad-joked his offspring. Again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theChristy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2014
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