Today's school pun
So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...
How do crabs get to school?
They use the side walk!
- came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
Definitely not how you want to get to school
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
If you fail a test in Cosmetology school, don't worry.
There will be a makeup test soon.
When I was at school I had it tough. Other kids would throw lumps of gold at me.
I was a victim of bullion.
My son's math's teacher was away so the head of school had to step in and take her place.
It's the principal that counts.
The cross eyed school teacher was fired.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
My daughter asked if she could learn how to sing in school.
My daughter claims her school is huanted and wanted to call the ghost busters.
I told her to call the cheerleading squad instead. Figured they might know the school spirit.
My school bully told me I’m bad at come-backs. So I told them that
that- uhhh... that they- they’re- uhhh- stup- I mean- uhm...
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
why did the m&m wanna go to school?
because it wanted to be a smartie
My draught told me she has a new friend at school named Tia.
I replied, "Does she cry a lot?"
The bus I took to school was driving on a new sort of fuel.
Apparently, it was driving on time
After graduating from the Aerosmith Chinese culinary and language school, I can finally...
Wok this way, and talk this way
My son is starting school next year but is scared because he thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.
I reassured him, "Don't be silly! Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
I went with my friend in med school to Disney World and he was getting antsy everytime we had to stand in line.
So I told him, "If you want to be a good doctor, you'll need more patients."
There was a kidnapping at my local school today.
It’s ok though, he woke up eventually.
I realised I was the poor kid at school...
....when I was the only one who turned up to band practice with a shoe horn.
My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
She had an interesting name but she tortoise well
As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.
That way, I can keep a low pro file.
There was a kidnapping today at school
Luckily he woke up before the teacher saw him.
School is easy.
I got 360 degrees just by moving in circles.
My dad was ready to roll in on the jokes when coming to pick me up after school in his "DIY self-driving" car. Everyone knows though...
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?
It cost him an arm and a leg...
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
What's the most dangerous class in school?
Music Class. Too much violins.
My boyfriend actually came up with it this morning and I'm having a hard time believing it hasn't been said before. I tried looking it up in this subreddit and google and haven't found anything yet lol.
A press conference was held with the lead of the school's administration about bullying
He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal
I always tell my kids to stay at school.
But they keep coming back.
Old school 90’s Ravers aren’t worried about the gas shortage.
They’re used to running on E.
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
Did you hear about the fish that fell asleep in school?
I went to astronaut school but flunked the zero-gravitas test.
When I was in elementary school, I learned that "when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking".
I think that rule is graet.
While shopping for school supplies I came across a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words as well.
Schools...
I don't know what they're teaching kids in schools these days. I asked my son what rhymed with orange, and he said nothing. Nothing? Those two words don't even sound alike!
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
Apparently, schools will now run from September right through till July with no holidays....
It's a long term solution.
My daughter goes to a school that requires a uniform. Occasionally, the administration will reward the children with a free dress day.
For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the local school?
It's fine now, he woke up.
Did y'all hear about that kidnapping at school?
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
Y'all hear about the kidnapping at school?
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