People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves
I tell them it’s stationary
Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
Not to brag, but I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
How does an avocado move?
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
What do you call the 2nd richest man, when he moves to Mexico?
I asked some clams to help me move but all they wanted to do was sit there and breathe seawater.
I told them they were just being shellfish.
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)
How do actors move around film sets?
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
Which country did Usain Bolt move to after his retirement?
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
What do you call a pig's karate moves?
Pork chops. (Credit to my baby sister who just told me this.)
Once, I agreed to help Death move his couch to his new place.
After we got there, I realized I forgot those things you’re supposed to sit on. There were reaper cushions.
What do you call a donkey that refuses to move?
I need to move out of my parent's house
Their wifi password is " our40yrsoldbaby", i mean come on I'm 45.
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
Betcha $5 I can move that bottle with my mind...
"No way, dad!"
knocks bottle over with hands My mind controls my hands. Now where's my $5?!
What computer code will give you the moves of a politician?
I got a fake passport to move to Sydney
Why can't pencils and erasers move?
Because they're stationery.
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
Someone pulled me aside and asked me to move
So I went back to where I was.
Due to the state of the pandemic I decided to move to my house boat for a while
What do you call a calm person who moves around a lot?
If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be
Being a wheelchair user must be wheelie hard to move on especially when someone walks out on you
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
As much as you might move around an envelope
It'll always be stationery.
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.
The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.
The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
My church can move faster than light
This is such a rookie move
What do you call the Eskimos’ signature wrestling move?
What is the best tool to make a car move?
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
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