on Sonday.
I hope they meat her expectations
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
Dad : Donβt forget itβs son day too.
I made several good points.
βCos sheβs worth it.
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
But Son day happens once every week
... but every week there's a sunday.
So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.
So far I got:
You're ex-cell-ent mom!
I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!
Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)
^((But they're kind of trash))
Ideas from others:
Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15
What a bitch.
Because she's a sweet lady with a great sense of humour.
Labor Day.
Mama said thereβd be gays like this!
Happy Pride Month, yβall. :D
So I hear my niece running around in our house and also a dog running around with her and was immediately confused wondering why she and a dog were just running up and down the hallway. Then I went to see what was happening and she was playing fetch with the dog. So I asked my mom, "then why was she running? Is she simply so stupid that she throws a thing and tries to fetch it herself because for a second there she forgot whether she was the dog or the person?" To which my mom replied, "it wouldn't be farfetched. ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) " ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
stay-up mother.
Why do you beehive like this?
We had ordered mussels and were destroying them. We couldn't stop talking about how great they were.
Dad: "god damn I've had some good mussels in my life but these are amazing. I've got to remember to come here again."
Me: "Make sure to eat as many as you can."
Dad: "Why's that?"
Me, giggling: "Mussel memory."
groans from everyone
I got sent a bunch of flowers with all the heads cut off. I phoned the police and they said its sounds like i was being stalked.
I'd like to share a poem that my own dad wrote for his mom once upon a time:
M is for the many things she gave me.
O is for the other things she gave me.
T is for the things she gave me.
H is for her things she gave me.
E is for everything she gave me.
R is for the rest of the things she gave me.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!
I said something to tease my mom a bit and she goes:
"I'm going to put you back in my womb"
My response: "I don't think there's enough womb".
https://imgur.com/a/BoHVUWe
Why's it on Son Day?
Bf's dad: Did you know that every can of beans only has two hundred and thirty nine beans?
Me: Oh really?
Bf's dad: Yeah, if there were one more they'd be too farty.
...Didn't even see that one comin'.
It's son-day as well
https://imgur.com/a/kFtji
I was at the diner with my family on Mom's day. My step brother looks around the packed dining room and says, "Damn it's crowded in here!" to which I reply "Yeah, everyone and their mother is here today."
Context to the story: My mom is getting some work done in her backyard. Trees are being removed and they are digging to put an in ground pool in.
Story: Mom and I are driving back from an outing for Mother's Day. We are talking about the back yard and the work getting done.
Mom: When the pool gets put in I'll be dirt poor.
Me: But right now you're dirt rich!
Mom:look of disappointment
We were having cake to celebrate Mother's Day with my Mom. My Dad decides to ask us:
"Mom's pretty great. You know what she'd be called if she were president?"
"No."
"BABEraham Lincoln."
I'm making Mothers day cards for my mother deli co-workers. I kind of have have an idea for one of them (http://imgur.com/3FKyto0) I want to play on deli themes.
Prima Della is one of the brands we use, others are Hormel, Charlie's Pride, Sara Lee, and Jenny O. In the deli we have a deep frier and hot case, meat/cheese slicers and make sandwiches/salads.
Any fun plays on words for any of those that would make a fun PG-PG13 card? Nothing too vulgar, I work with these ladies
Rang my mum up to wish her a Happy Mothers Day and Dad said he wanted to talk to me also. He opens with "Happy Son Day, get it Sunday haha". Commence the groaning...
Happy Mothers Day all!
My mom was washing up the dishes after dinner while my pop, my brother & me were watching a game on the telly on Mother's day, so my dad kinda tells her:
"Come on, don't wash the dishes now, it's your day!"
While my brother adds:
"Yeah, you'll do it tomorrow!"
Sitting in the backyard on a beautiful Mother's Day evening, the topic turned to our church organist who is absolutely awful and serves as the source of much pain and humor for my family.
Dad: After all these years you would think he would be able to play at least one song without a mistake.
Mom: In his defense, the pay is almost nonexistent. It's basically volunteer. So his heart is in the right place. pause His fingers just aren't!
Belly laughs all around. She was bright red laughing at her own joke. Well deserved.
http://imgur.com/QN9AElv,bwZknVk
Dad: This is mom hands me moms plate with dinner on it
Me: No, that's a plate.
I said, βRemember, itβs also son day.β
http://imgur.com/Lphk8Ai
