My wife asked me to go get some milk
My wife: can you go out and get a gallon of milk, if they have oranges get 5
Me: *comes home with 5 gallons of milk"
My wife:???
Me: they had oranges...
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Don't use raw milk to make butter
π︎ 31
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︎ Apr 10 2021
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk? not 1%
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk?
not 1%
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︎ Apr 20 2021
What kind of bees like breast milk?
π︎ 69
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︎ Mar 28 2021
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks youβ¦
"What about the udder one?"
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︎ Apr 07 2021
One astronaut says to another βI canβt find any milk for my coffeeβ
The other astronaut replies βIn space no one can, here use creamβ
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Whatβs the difference between milk and yogurt?
Yogurt comes from a more sophisticated culture.
π︎ 27
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︎ Mar 14 2021
The only thing that bothers me about Almond Milk:
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What kind of bees make milk?
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Where does the mortitain buy his milk?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 26 2021
A man threatend me with milk, chocolate and cheese
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
π︎ 59
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︎ Jan 18 2021
What did the man say when he found out the milk man was sleeping with his wife?
π︎ 29
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Can you see in a big vat of milk?
Not once it's past yer eyes!
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Why did the milk glasses listen to the milk carton?
Because the carton was a litre.
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Soy milk
Is the only food that tells you what it is.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
This morning, the milkman threw milk at my face
π︎ 20
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I took a group tour of a milk factory ...
While inside, I took a deep breath and said, "Ahh, nice dairy air!"
The woman next to me strongly disagreed. She didn't have to smack me though ...
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.
They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I just had a guy throw milk at me
π︎ 231
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
How do you milk sheep ?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 21 2021
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 30 2021
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 02 2021
A friend of mine makes good money selling camelβs milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Farmer milks his profits from cows
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Her: Honey can you pick up some milk
Him:* lifts gallon * done
Her: no from the store
Him: I imagine it weighs the same there too
π︎ 25
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
π︎ 46
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why can't people without legs drink milk
π︎ 31
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I wanted to be more healthy so tried putting oat milk in my tea.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
What kind of bee makes milk?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
How do you milk a sheep?
You say an election was fraudulent and ask for donations.
π︎ 24
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I heard that sweetened milk and egg yolks are getting a divorce
Apparently they're mixed up in a custardy battle
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Cashier: βDo you want milk in the bags?β
Dad: βNo, thanks. The carton is fineβ.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 07 2021
They are pushing milk on us
π︎ 38
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︎ Nov 09 2020
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
Theyβre a big fan of gross domestic products.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
Its pasteurized before you see it.
π︎ 108
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︎ Oct 23 2020
What do you call an epic milk?
π︎ 117
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Does anybody know how to charge their milk?
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Milk is good
π︎ 63
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Milk is good
π︎ 234
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
What kind of bees make milk?
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 13 2021
What kind of bees make milk?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Which kind of bees make milk?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Once a man assaulted me with milk, cheese and butter
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︎ Dec 08 2020
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