Whst did the church mouse say to the other mice?

Have you accepted cheeses as your lord and saviour?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskyEchoTango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What elf do I know very well and can catch multiple mice?

Probably mice elf! My self would need several mouse traps, but I can catch many, if they're dumb enough!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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How do mice worship?

By praising cheeses.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?

At the squeak-easy!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pawljames
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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My cat just ate a bunch of cheese. Now he's heading to the basement to look for mice

with baited breath.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why do mice have such small balls?

Because not many of them know how to dance...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Two mice were chewing on a film roll.

One of them says, β€œI think the book was better.”

Credit: Tiny Tower Bitbook

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maybejaeby
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Do you know at what mice pray?

Cheesus.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vladius9512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one.....the others escaped with minor injuries.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hmoney720
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Not mice elf
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruru2205
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but how did they get in there?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MDCM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Computer mice accumulated from library’s lost and found... (zoom in for pun)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HawaiianSpam
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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I want to kill mice elf
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MudkipSirYaClod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Back in medieval times, they used to make computer mice out of the poop of giant flame breathing reptiles...

...surely you've heard of the "dragon drop" interface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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What do you call mice that fight and make up all the time?

Compro-mice.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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A Brit was ambushed by mice

Yesterday, two mice attacked a Brit at a pub. While one took the key to his car and ran, the other smashed his knee and ran. He was down on the ground crying and shouting 'Me key, me knee!'

Edit: changed public to pub. Fucking autocorrect :P

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I'm training mice to perform classical music

I'm a real mice-tro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtTheKevIn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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What clothes do mice wear?

Gucheese

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syhrr_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Damn mice
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaiTo_PrO
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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What’s it called when your burps taste like mice?
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blessedathiest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Why did the three blind mice move out of the farmer's wife's kitchen?

Because they heard that she made cookies out of molasses.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Why doesn't Edward Scissorhands like mice? [xpost /r/jokes]

Because he prefers keyboard shortcuts!

-Quite proud of this one, my kids didn't get it, but my wife and I had a good laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acr_vp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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Church Mice
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JesusTexasRanger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
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The mice keep stealing the bait from the mousetraps I bought.

I just knew those traps looked debatable.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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When poor mice overthrow the bear(on)s the headline read:

Voletariat ursurped beargeosie.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
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Where do European mice have their birthday parties?

Czechy Cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacellist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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The legend of the tutor mice

So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.

What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.

And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.

What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...β™«

β™«DON'T WANNA 'B'!β™«

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!β™«

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyDecentSort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the church mouse say to the other mice?

Have you accepted cheeses as your Lord and Savior?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelkane911
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but it’s kind of cramped.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NudlePockets
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Why do mice have such small balls?

Because not many of them know how to dance...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one...

...and the other two escaped with minor injuries.

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Villainero
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
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Who do mice pray to ?

Cheesus

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2, but I don't know how they got in there.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crimreap3r
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
To whom do mice pray to?

Cheesus

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zorro_96
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Who do mice pray to?

Cheesus

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamstagram
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
what do mice pray to?

cheesus

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnnx3
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, if they fit!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_E_Pants
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but I don't know how they get in there...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/headexpl0dy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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What is the savior of mice?

It's cheesus!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wENTtobuyweed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
🚨︎ report

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