Orchards around the world are going out of business en masse...

All their hard work really is just one big, fruitless endeavor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InLoveWithAbsol
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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Hawaii used to be part of a group of 5 identical land masses.

The other four were called Hawhoii, Hawhereii, Hawhatii, and Hawhenii.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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What do you call a group of sensitive water masses?

'Em Oceans

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LemeeAdam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2019
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Math for The Masses probably run by a dad. twitter.com/mathsformasse…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lehovron
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2013
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I fell asleep during Catholic mass.

I'm a Bored Again Christian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/teeim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen yesterday....

.....but it turned out to be a field of carrots.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?

Incontinent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheGogglesDo-Nothing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call a priest who dresses in a nun's habit?

A Transistor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EmperorOfFabulous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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I asked my Dad β€œWhat’s the difference between weight and mass?”

β€œWell, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.

Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shakes-Fear
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2020
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Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pee_pee_poo_poo_69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2020
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We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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This gives a whole new meaning to Mass Shooting!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuanTanio
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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Where do large sea mammals go to get their body mass measured?

The Whale-weigh station

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?

Pew! Pew! Pew!...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jon-A
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?

He was a Serial Kaler

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bruce_Wang007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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Electrons have mass?!

I didn’t even know they were catholic!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RabidSyphiliticDingo
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2020
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You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?

You matter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BadPanda666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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What do you call an advertisement for the Catholic Church?

Mass Marketing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/McDudles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Why doesn’t light have mass?

If it did, it would’ve be called heavy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JensFleur
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
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A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...

"No, but your hat's on crooked."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2020
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Why won’t Americans switch from pounds to kilos?

It would cause mass confusion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fuckleberyfinn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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Everyone knows Las Vegas is Sin City but are you familiar with Den City?

Mass over volume.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.

They followed the guidance religiously.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Chosen_Pun_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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Cant weigh to see their face
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2020
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I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast

Oh wait. I'm obese

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tjeters
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
"Mass confusion"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/capitalistic_nature
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Black holes are the biggest mass murderers

Literally

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FeZzUs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2020
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High mass in the extraordinary form
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prlmn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
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In an attempt to bring great pleasure to myself, I'll post controversial topics in white supremacist groups in the attempt to get funny reactions out of them.

I'm mass-turd-baiting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Klratz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?

At the olfactory

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/greatreference
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...

"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fluffy627
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Mass confusion
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HansProductions
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Mass confusion
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ljiang24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The media says that video games is a main cause for mass shootings

But really, it's music that causes gun violins

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BattlePants8154
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2019
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Pretty old mass joke ngl

Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?

Because it would cause mass confusion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A catholic priest walked into the wrong congregation

There was mass confusion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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What did the vegan say at mass

Lettuce pray

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tydyelove7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2019
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How do you measure the mass of a Red Hot Chili Pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 237
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RzRshRp98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2019
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Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?

Because they're his holey shoes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GmanV357
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 233
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alluxin_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TimHP
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2019
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Did you know that protons had mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperMegaPepega
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2020
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Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stayphreshdnb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be a mass confusion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 154
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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